Ugh I had to wake up at 6:30 this morning. A co-worker called last night to say she needed a ride cause her car blew up or something.
I was like "okay..." then like FUCK that sucks cuz I have to get up earlier! So I picked her up - she's this older lady who just started working here from Ft. Wayne, IND.
She's like my MOM's age and I feel sorry for her cause she's in this different place and her car is messed up and it's scary to have to get to work/ask for rides. So I made it easy for her.
We stopped at this gas station cause they are giving out free stuff for two weeks. She reminds me slightly of my mom, maybe it's her age - cause she mentioned it and I was already turning to go in, I do anything for people who remind me of my parents. Isn't that odd?

So I got a free 24 oz huge ginormous coffee for free! They had bagels for free, but I opted not to cause I'm on a ...diet. I figure if I tell enough people that I am, that it'll kick into my own subconscious. Although I haven't been eating to badly, nix the Taco Hell I had yesterday and the Chips Ahoy in my cabinets. I've paid two fold for those greazy foods...believe me. My stomach is very tempermental now...and I'm starting to take vitamins again, which means feeling dizzy and nauseous after taking them (had stomach flu once and barfed up a vitamin, so now when I take them I get ill).

Still I feel certain with me moving and all of this sudden get up and go stuff I'm on my way to weight loss. I have stretch marks - which means I've lost SOME weight somehow. I always know when I'm doing something right cause suddenly the stretch marks are there. I wore this old shirt yesterday and I felt it was way to big for me, swimming in it nearly. I have to stop buying 3x's ...I'm a 2x fer sure, but my mind screams 3x "just in case" ... but that turns out for the clothing to hang on me and not fit right.

I went to the gym yesterday and want to go today. I feel piss-ay because that lady asked for a ride home ... and that means I have to dump her off then go all the way back to the gym! That to me is A. gas and B. GAS.

It's $2.79 a gallon, and sorry, I had to waste it - and battle traffic back. So I'm contemplating asking another co-worker who said she'd give her a ride - well telling her that I have to "work over" or some lie so I don't have to take her.

I know that's wrong, it feels selfish and wrong....

Just like me volunteering at the Humane S. and now I'm all like it's 3 hrs of my time and I wanted to work out and ...now I'll have to re-arrange my day! Fuck! Or go grocery shopping, etc.

I guess I can go Sunday.

Anyway, I'm still feeling strange about the whole pet thing. My mom/dad do NOT want me to get a cat. They said I don't need the extra worry/costs. My thing, the thing that holds me back - is paying $300 bucks. That is a lot of money!!! I still have yet to put up items on Ebay, and stuff like that. I hate ebay cause of the packaging and SENDING the shit out. It's like hello no boxes or whatever ... I kept like two boxes from my moving for it. If I sell clothing it's going to be in a HUGE lot.

Then I want to see the old speakers to my computer - cuz they never worked right/TO loud - ala subwoofer! And then I was going to sell ...erm ... these old ink cartridges from my bull shit - broken printer! I bought it when I lived in Michigan and now it doesn't work. That boggles the mind.

So I'm going to have to ALSO buy a new printer, especially if I'm freelancing now! Which sucks cuz yeah, monay is tight. My credit card will be like maxed out in no time.

That is what scares me ... just all of these little things. Plus I have to buy my bridesmaid dress. So that's $300 for cat, $100 for printer and then $200 for dress ...$600 bucks! Then add on $300 from already balance of ....$900!!! OMG! *headache*

I guess living w/ debt is just something I have to get used to. I really wish that my new card some how zapped my old balance, but that's a dream, I know it. I'm going to check again today.

Anyway, I'm trying to think what else to sell. I have a pair of Candies shoes that I think I wore for 1/2 a day and took off due to hurting my feet! Hah. Um um ... I also bought some Corelle Crazy Daisy JUICE glasses. These are "rare" I guess. I got them at goodwill for 35 cents! On ebay they go for like $22 bucks. Isn't that crazy? I might sell those.

Anyway I get hooked up tomorrow - cable/internet! Yay! About time! I'm into the second season of Sex in the City. How fitting that one episode was about them all being single,etc. It's like yah, know how that is. I just adore Mr. Big, he's the type of man that I'd go for. Treats you like shit sometimes, but when it's good, it's really good.

I guess watching that show, though I know it's just a show, is seeing how they interact with men. Cause with me, I'm just to easy (not sexually) ... but I'm like yah let's go out! Yah let's blah blah. Never hard to get. Hum.

It's just interesting to me I guess. But I'm in a drought again and think I'm just OK with that. I'm working on myself and if someone wants to join in, then okay. I'm not going to chase anyone and not going to be played the fool. Like that guy I really dug (notice past tense) ... I liked his personality - but dont' like that he doesn't call/too nervous and I know he thinks I'm to good for him.

I hate guys like that. Seriously. Come on, if you thought I was TO good for you, then why did you even BOTHER contacting me? I'm tired of that stuff. Usually it's guys thinking they are to good for me cause I'm over weight. That's how it usually goes.

But anymore, I'm not caring. If you want to go out on a date, then fucking set it up. I'm not going to plan it. I so so agree with Naperville man (though we both talk off and on) ... but he's right when he says the man chases the woman. It's human nature. The woman shouldn't have to be the one chasing ... I agree 100%. So when a guy treats me like shit/not call/communication ...eh, move on Jen. That's what I've learned. I guess if he's not going to take time out for me, then good-bye dude.

*Sigh* why is it so hard to find a good man? I need to get out more I guess. I don't know how or where, but I just need to. Put that on my plans for what to do with all this extra time.

I will change, gradually, I will.

Lemme say though, I am loving how my stylist streaked my hair. It's ala' coolio. I have semi-hair dresser hair. Just nice and curly and hi and low-lights that make it look just neat and with it long enough I pull up the sides and tuck behind my ear and just wow....I like it a lot!! I've missed having HAIR -- though I might go back to super short hair...not sure now though cuz longer hair on me makes me look younger! Anyway -- > Good hair days are priceless!!

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