Found 3 apartments I'm interested in.

One in Dyer and two in Schererville, Indiana. The Dyer one, isn't advertising any apartments, I just found them on the net.

The other two advertise, however both are $600 a month. I think one offers some utilities paid, the other offers NO utilities paid, BUT has two bedrooms.

Am going to call and ask to see them.

Had mini panic attack just driving into complex. Reminded me of my first stay at Dizzney College P rogram --- their apartments. So I kind of freaked like what if I can't make it on my own?

I do not not not have the money to pay for rent right now, busy paying off medical bill and visa bill. $300 left on visa currently.

Do not want to start off poor. So I might borrow the first mths rent/deposit from parents, then pay back.

Realized have a lot to even buy for living alone, garbage can, cleaning supplies, kitchen stuff (food), bathroom stuff....

So I'm like okay Big Lots here I come, Target here I come.

Regardless, sister's fiance asked her if I was moving out because of him.

Don't flatter yourself.

Today I get to make an ASS of myself by going up to this lady who's hiring for this job there and give her my portfolio.

I hate doing that, I can be fake and smiley, but ... don't want to seem like I'm kissing her ass cause I have to. It's hard to explain, I don't like to seem like I'm a fraud. So...I'm going to go in and just DO IT. Hi, here is my portfolio, you can look through it for a few days if you like.

My worst nightmare: "Jen just give it to HR" or "I don't need to see it"

Me: *Thud* Crazy

Okay gotta be stone cold, it's business not personal.

Will update later today.

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