I'm feeling half pissed off and half way kinda blue.

I found out a lot of info at work today, found the lady who didn't get the job we both were going for is going to the higher ups on it. I wrote the letter for her, and she says what the hell are you doing here, you're fantastic at writing.

So she tells me the people that interviewed us, never told their manager there were internal people wanting the job. They only said there was only the external.

So now, it's haywire. Now, is when that ol' cliche fits so well. The shit is about to hit the fan.

I'm not in this, mind you. I'm the innocent bystander. I'm just the mastermind and instigator that's good at writing hateful letters in moments notice.

Other than this, I was told to go for the Art Director position, but tha'ts high up. So I'm going to turn in my resume and portfolio tomorrow and tell this new lady I'm good at everything in writing and design. Everyone knows it except those that matter. Making a name for yourself must be one of the hardest things to do. Everyone knows you're good and then soon enough you should be hired, isn't that how it's supposed to go?

You might think so, but somehow in my life things are always sideways and loopy.

Anyway my sister called and said her fiance called up and said he was upset because he thinks I'm mad at him.

I said: I am mad at him. She says, "why now?" So I say, the way you say that you act like I'm always mad at him. She said I am. I say okay what was the last thing? I said he ANNOYS ME, but that is diff. than being MAD.

Change of scene. So my sister gets pissy with me. As I say, I'm mad due to a. what he said to me in the car (i.e. **** you look beautiful. Jen, you just look okay. And for b. going out to DQ and bringing it back for just my sister ... i.e. I always always call home to make sure everyone is covered.

My sister defends. My sister says, he's called before ... I cannot remember when though. So she says, okay he fucked up. I say, he always does it to me and I'm tired of it.

She said I'm entitled to my feelings. She is all pissy.

Thanks for taking sides. I wanted to say, this is why I'm leaving. This bullshit. The way you BOTH treat me now. I'm so fucking gone. I've simply had it.

I'm just feeling piss-i-fied because I'm sure he'll feel the need to TALK to me. And right now with my crazy pills I really do not want to. Trying to come up with what I'll say. Maybe simply - look you won, I'm moving out, what more to you want? I'm thinking a simple, I do not want to talk to you, will work fine.

Us Gemini's need communication, but I don't want to even speak to him for a while. Whatever's clever dude, just leave me the fuck alone. I don't even WANT him to help when I move. I declined taking ANYTHING from him. Nothing, I don't want ANYTHING, sorry, I'm going to treat him how he treats me. So fuck you, you've REALLY done it now. I've tried and tried, now....no you have to earn my respect. I'm done. You know kiss my parents ass, kiss my sisters ass ... but you've done enough disrespecting to me. Kissing my sister in front of me, touching, sex, the whole nine yards with me so near.

Disgusting. My sister, equally as disgusting. I can't wait to leave.

�

pet ramps