I woke up today with a very achy left hand.

I don't know if it's from the violin playin' I was doing yesterday, but today the inside of my hand hurts like mad, I thought I got a cramp in it, but it still aches .... Which fucks me up cause tomorrow is my first violin lesson ... this hand, the left one, is the one that presses down on the strings, holds the violin ala MUST WORK.

So I'm going to hop on over to the gym and then to JO-ANN's Fabric for some yarn for my mom to finish up this afgan she's making me. It's this really nice - and expensive - yarn. Like 10 bucks a scain (sp?) ... and it's light blue. I guess whenever my mom knits it, the dog tries to snuggle up in it. Heh.

Anyway, I'm still feeling blue today. My horoscope said my dreams are about to come true, but what dream I choose to come true will be the hard part.

Last night I figured I'd just up my Match.Com account cause it's about to run out ... so replied to like 10 guys. Oddly enough, that one dude I was talking to a while ago called me Friday night. Love these guys who do not speak to me for a month, then come back as if nothing had happend.

My luck is I delete them out of my cell phone, and then they call. That's just what happens everytime. I'm about to delete NY guy, and I bet you, he'll call within the week.

Anyway, I'm interested, yet not interested in dating right now. I guess I do not want the pressure of it, however do want the companionship. Everyone I know has someone, and it sucks when you go out and you're the odd man out.

Yesterday while going to the wedding of a friend, it was my sister, her fiance and myself in the car. The conversation went to sister - "you look just beautiful" ... then to me ... "Jen, you just look okay."

He was "joking" ... and I said "fuck you, this is the fucking reason I want to move out." Then he started to back petal ... "I'll be going in there with two beautiful girls..." so I said "You can just stop now."

So yeah.

Okay shouldn't talk about those things cause the water works are starting. I cried three times yesterday and already today I'm crying again. WTF.

Okay I have to get a hold of myself, am going out in public and dont' want to look goonie.

At least my yeast infection is either nearly gone or gone. I noticed the whole discharge thing is gone. Yay. So I washed my towel and put clorox detergent on all my undies to get rid of any trace of whatever.

I hope to never, ever have one again. What a horrible thing to have. The body can really fuck you over sometimes. I'd take a period over that.

Well no sign of my period so to speak. But read these pills trigger it AFTER you're done w/them.

Well next Sunday I should take the last pill. Yay.

Anyway, I think one of my fish has gone mad or turned into a hermit. His friend died, then my big goldfish died. Since those two deaths all he does is hide in his lil' log. Even when I feed them he hides, or he'll come out and swim crazy and try to jump out.

So I think the stress of seeing his tank mates die, must've made me go over the edge.

Oh anyway ... that wedding last night. Oh my gawd. I laughed so so so hard cause this weriod guy at our table wearing a beret went out to dance the twist...so it was like...okay...so he started dancing and he was all over the fucking floor. I can't even explain it, but I screamed it was so funny. The wedding was so white trash with Indiana finest imbreeds ... I think there were only 4 college educated people there.

But that guy, oh my god, I've never wanted to just die laughing seeing some lil' guy busting a move. There also was a professional ballroom dancing couple there. So smooth and wonderful. I loved to watch their feet, with ever beat they would step down or move to the side.

It's just weriod to me, I don't know, like when you play violin and someone is counting for you and you're following that and changing course, etc. The goal is making that transition smooth. I have yet to make a smooth transition on violin, from A to D string, you can hear it, or hear a squeal that comes when I go to fast, slow.

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pet ramps