Didn't get job.

Someone who worked here before came back. So very very very bummed.

Am now on hormone pills. Want to cry buckets of tears for no reason. Upset about not getting job, but still understand, but don't understand at the same time.

Two who interviewed me very apologetic, say they want me in their department, next job will probably be mine, they will start giving me small ads to do to get me ready.

I hold breath.

Friend who interviewed me came by to tell me new lady hired here is starting up magazine here and needs to hire writers and designers. Told to go for the job when I see it as she will tell this person how great I am. Feel hopeful and hopeless again.

Friend said either you'll get a job with her, or one of ours will leave to take a job with her or no one will leave and she'll hire elsewhere.

Me thinking: she'll hire elsewhere. Me left again in the dumps.

Feeling really really like crying and could burst into tears, not sure if it's the pill or me.

I talked with that girl who invited me to that party tonight and I was the only one here invited, she said she wanted to get to know me more (not lesbian thing) so happy to maybe have a new friend.

So unhappy and happy. I think this pill is messing with my head a lot. Wish I didn't have to take it cause I feel tired and worn out suddenly.

But mostly let down again and again. Funny how much you can take when you figure you cannot take anymore.

I see my boss happy today, maybe she knew and now safe to go on vacation cause she knows I'll be here in this same shit job. Dreams of moving out not entirely lost, am planning on something to budge.

Asked new friend for as much freelance work as I could get. Will charge $50 an hour maybe, will try to make $500 in projects - fast - and start making fabric collages to sell on ebay.

Sold.

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pet ramps