Okay had pelvic ultrasound. Was ... okay. My first question, "you're not going to use that ... magic wand thing right? Cuz ... my gyn did that last time ... *insert drawn out long explanation* ..."

Well he, yes he said, well we might have to ... or *babbles about rescheduling* ....

So I got there early and had to sit in a snazzy light blue smock type of thing. Nix undies/pants. Kept shirt on though. I also kept on shoes/socks. The smock looked like a dress on me, with my knee-high trouser socks and brown shoes. I was stylin'

Er ... so he pressed REALLY hard above my coo ... sometimes it was kinda painful when he'd press hard then twist the thing, but I starred at the ceiling - trying to make out words and animals in the stecco. I saw the word "Pick" and the word "Avg" in the stecco, I saw a bear and a few faces. I thought about song lyrics and imagined I was cut in two cause I felt nothing below (trying to trick myself) ... realized I hate needles and realized why hospitals are so scary is because of how sterile and unusually bright and clean and use of scary greens and blues and fake woods. The magazines about health, yet overweight nurses leading you about.

I was unusually happy today, now even happier that it's all over. I did get a bruise from them taking blood from me this morning - 3 vials! But the nurse did a good job and it was just a pinch ... no burning this time ... and when she took out the needle I didn't even feel it. I told her she did a good job ... she said you're only saying that because it's all over ...so I said, no I'm saying it because I didn't feel any burning this time.

So I'm back at work and now next week will hear the results of these various tests, probably get on some meds for whatever. My period hasn't started and the doc said if it hasn't started in 2 weeks to call her.

So eh. I also am wondering about my job/career stuff again. Feeling that drought, feeling like nobody wants me. Can't find a date with a guy I like, can't find a job in a career I like. It's hard not to feel unwanted, forgotten, whatever. All of it. Right now, the drought seeps in, waiting for the monsoon of life to emerge as my life usually seems to concur with nowadays.

Tonight I have dinner with pooks, I've so missed that boy. My best friend, oddly enough ... we'll know each other forever I think. He's my stand in date for things, to bad he's gay, but I'd never date him regardless.

So yay. Just so happy it's all done with. Now, what's next?

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pet ramps