Oddness today. Just odd things by design.

I did my bosses job again and cheered on that tomorrow is Friday. Explained and apologized to everyone since I've only done my bosses job once before. I want to say, I know...I suck at this, but this is the best I can do given my training.

Regardless, my sister called and tried to smooth things over, but I'm still angry, mad, hurt by how shitty she was to me yesterday for no reason at all.

I went home and searched the net for apartments and found three that I called. Costs range from $500 to $545. I hate to pay $545 ... however I will if it's in a good area, etc. Still... it wasn't any comfort to the problems at hand. Just another issue to attend to ... moving, paying more bills, hating how I don't make enough, feeling sorry for myself. You know my gig.

Anyway, I talked to my mom ... she found a job in Traverse City - Michigan - for me to apply to. It's for copy editing and it also is a tid bit of news design/layout. Which is coolio, yet I question myself with why I'd go back to Michigan when I fought so hard to get out of it.

Yet I wonder if it would be a good change, I would have to move there as well. It's a busy, yuppie town that has a lot of cool stuff going on all the time.

Still, I feel my roots are in Chicago, are in NW Indiana. I'm a hoosier to heart, yet I muster up these possiblities of escaping my current just to find a whole new problem/issue/bitch-fest.

So I don't know, I'll apply to it just because I can. Just because I emailed and expressed my interest and they're sending me an application.

I still haven't heard back from that Chicago job and my heart has fallen slowly and the shade has been cast upon any hope I have left. I am no stranger to reject of this sort, and I told myself I will not go down w/o a struggle. I plan to call again next week.

A woman at work looked me up and down today and told me that I'd lost weight. This is the second time in two weeks I've been told this. Not that I mind, but I look at myself and really don't see it. I say this as I chow on peanut M&M's at work. Mmm.

I got my new low sugar diet book in the mail today. Yay. It's like for hypoglucmic (sp?) people. I can't wait to see the Gyn to tell her about my issues and the need to be tested on PCOS. I sometimes believe I have that, yet other times think I'm over reacting. I don't know, I do know my hormones are wrong cause of my irregular periods ... kind of like PCOS seems like people don't get their period. While I do get mine and it lasts ages.... A full three weeks of tit and tat lil' here and a lil there.

Oh well. I'm not a doctor so I won't speculate any longer. Though I fear being buff for a stranger. I've began planning how to get my body in tip top nearly lookable shape with shaving (no not down there)

So at least that'll be a worry out of my head, making room for a few new ones. Like how come one day I'm knee high in guys ... then the next, a waste land of singledom that feels eternal.

It's nearly chaotic here today, the presses are down at the paper. I realized today that by me laying out the sections of the paper that I can really fuck up this place. I affect every department here with what I do when I do my bosses job. That thought scared the shit out of me. I mean like how everyone can point their finger at me.

Oh well, I'm feeling tired again and feel like shit as I didn't go to the gym as planned this week. I guess I'm taking it easy because of all the stress. I'm slightly excited about the Michigan job though, I don't know why, and if I got it - which I'm sure I could? - would I even want it?

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pet ramps