Christ some of these banners on here really...suck.

Jesus, they'll let anyone post this place. *ahem*

Anywho. I feel kinda happy today for no reason. Well happiness before some type of emotional storm hits. This can be the form of : no second job interview or date this week turns out to be shit.

Both could very very well happen. Or both could work out.

Regardless, right now I'll be more upset w/ not getting a second interview.

Am already thinking about WHEN to call to see what's shaking. If I have to call, I'll be upset cause it's never, ever a good sign when YOU have to call them to find out what's going on.

I know this from experience. So don't bother leaving me a note about hope.

Date with guy this week, I'm not holding my breath. This man last week said he'd call and never did. Then gave me a lame excuse on Sunday and wanted to go out that night - I said no.

My goal now is to say "no" to the original asking out. Playing, slightly hard to get. Playing detached.

So, again, he didn't call and now he said he'd call me this week to go out sometime - maybe Thursday/Friday-ish? But, I'm not going to re-arrange my schedule for him - not that I have plans, but eh he has no claims to me.

Still, I'm happy that my period stopped and happy that I feel like I'll get a second interview. It's coming to the point where if I get called and go interview, I'll be worse off because of the waiting to see the final results.

I believe I'm against at least 3 others. That's not big competition ... considering that right now ... they were impressed with my well roundedness ... can copy edit and know design/layout. Understands schedules, etc.

All seems very well, and they did remember me from last year and all of that stuff. But I dont' know if that's a plus or anything at all. I think of last year. I mean I've been burnt by them already, can I expect them to have changed? The players have changed most certainly this time around ... however ... does a change of scenery mean a change of dealings?

Kind of like that guy who didn't call me, can I expect him to really call me this week? And if he doesn't, then what? I mean he seems sooo nice, like one of those guys on TV that is the "nice" guy that is like unbelieveable.

I still worry about being to .. plus size .. for him. I keep watching people and seeing how their weight matches up. I know it's not that important, but to some people it is. I can't help it though, when you get this look on a guys face like he thinks he can do better than you...but still has to proceed w/ the date, like an obligation ... it's hard to be optimistic.

And what the fruck is "thick" ... like on this dating site I was on ... thick was one of the body types. I hate to say I'm "big and beautiful" ... that's just gay. I usually say "few pounds overweight" ... a bald face lie ... however better than "BBW" .. which to me has a negative connotation.

Still I see "thick" and it's like ...what's that? Like football player thick? I'm sitting there like...am I thick?

Then I'm thinking why the fuck am I thinking about this?

Anyway, I have to get back to work, I'm banking on hearing about that job tomorrow, if not, I am going to feel at odds ... oh man....

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pet ramps