I'm utterly shocked by what I saw in the three-way mirror today in a dressing room.

It's like I thought I'd lost weight - as someone last week at work told me so - and I felt like I had kinda in some weriod way though I haven't been exercising. The jeans I wear all the time are very loose on me, today I realized that I need to wear my old "tight" jeans because...I'm tired of hiking up my pants.

Sorry, but right now ... I feel slightly scared ... because I see that I HAVE lost weight. That's good, HOWEVER, I want to say WHY have I lost when I've not been to the gym or have eaten really anything less?? That scares me a whole lot right now, considering I know something is wrong inside - I'm talking uterus wrong - like tumor? Cysts? Something ... with cramping A LOT now and crazy periods, last time I think I "hemmoraged" ... so I'm getting worried now ... and actually am looking FORWARD to my first gyn appt on the 30th.

Sorry to bring ya'll down. But I just FEEL like something is amiss in my body.

But in that mirror ... my god, it looks like my top has fallen into my thighs and ass. Like with weight slipped down my body.

My dad always said whenever I lost weight it seemed to slip down and then after a while disappear, so maybe I'm just seeing that cause fuck, Jenny got BACK baby.

I feel like saying, I think my flat ass is turning into fat ass or something. I feel ILL ... just remembering it. What a shock.

Okay back to the gym for me cause yeah, I gotta work off this ass.

But I'm all like how...ellipitical?? Treadmill? No fries? No McDonalds?

Okay will refrain from fast (fat) foods and pizza. Will eat more salad.

I feel at odds as I have a date this week with a THIN guy.

Ugk. My rough week. I have cramps for some reason today and feel nauseous/tired/stomach-aches, I don't know why and am hoping period doesn't come back. Oh nooo. I really don't need that this week.

Anyway ... I hope I get this second interview, I bought a nice shirt and kind of coolio jacket to go over this light tan tank. I figure even if I don't get that interview, I can still wear it to work as it's work wear. yay.

Oh, talked a lil to NY guy. We have a kind of understanding or whatever, comfort thing going like we chat and it's like okay yeah sorry for thinking you were married/had a double life ... and sorry for thinking you were blowing me off when you just thought I was mad at you. I just want to say, sorry for thinking.

He im'ed me before we spoke again with, you really should call me.

heh I thought it was kinda cute in a desperate way. As he would always call me, I never called back and acted all dejected the last time we spoke cause I was fed up with him acting all double-lifey and never asking me out.

So I fucked up thinking those things, but still ... when he im'ed me that, it was like he's been THINKING about it and finally was like fruck that I'm going to talk to her next time.

I understand, it's that thing that makes you want to say, please show me that attention.

So yes, I called him twice today and we did chat.

*sigh* Oh NY man, we may never date, but friends is what we ought to always be.

�

pet ramps