***Bitch Fest below - skip over if you don't want to read a bitch fest. ***

So I get up to get my hair cut and highlighted/lo-lighted and I'm feelin' okay.

I go to the bank and to the store, I'm running late and starting to feel kinda hot temp. wise in my head.

I'm waiting in the salon and feeling sweaty though it's not hot in there and dizzy.

So I'm seated in the chair and I'm all like I'm really HOT and cold sweats and extremely dizzy and thinking this wasn't a good idear because the fumes from the dye are making me nauseous. So I'm like WHERE IS YOUR BATHROOM as I'm walking and trying not to faint and sweating and everyone is lookin'.

And I'm in the bathroom with my hands on the sink, my head down trying to breathe and figure out what to do cause I'm about to pass out cause of these FUCKING FUMES COMING FROM THE DYE ON MY HAIR. I look in the mirror and think about ripping them out. I turn on the warm water and drink a handful and turn to the toliet and dry heaven a few times, nothing comes out and I'm thankful because my puke is followed by a loud cough.

So I go back to the chair and my stylist is like, Jen you're burning up, you don't look well, I think we should reschedule, I agree and she takes that SHIT out of my hair, washes it out and blow dries it lightly for me. I leave and in the car start crying and feeling like I don't even want to drive home but I do and get in bed and feel kinda better.

Fuck I hate being sick. My parents think I had (have) walking pneumnoia because I've had a mix of it all. Throwing up, fevers (daily) ... etc. etc.

Of course last night I get my PERIOD.

When it rains, it pours. NY Guy has stopped calling me (I'm OK with that); I didn't get any interview calls this week (blessing and a curse) and I still feel like shit and it's Sat and Monday I know I'll feel weak and shitty too, but I AM GOING TO WORK.

********

Okay get a load of this!!!

I got weighed in @ weight watchers as 294. I got weighed in at the doctors as fucking 301 (WHAT THE FUCK? Yes, my shoes were on and sorry, but that scale is WRONG) ....

Okay after the 301 shock, I feel like I've been working out (last week 4x) for nothing and eating healthy for nuthin' ... but I'm ill and don't care.

So I weigh myself today: 286!!!

What the HELL is going on??

Not that I don't mind this instant weight loss like maybe the pills the doc gave me were like diet pills, but I was like that's like...wow. Water weight mixed me fever burning and mixed w/ me not eating that much.

So Monday I'm going to WW come hell or high water for my FUCKING BOOK MARK.

I had to get sick, for a fucking book mark to make myself feel "good and normal" and "mix in" with the group of oldies cause they ALL have book marks and they ALL FLAUNT THERE FUCKING WEIGHT LOSS WHILE AT LUNCH I SEE THEM CHOWING ON CAKE. I want to say, YEAH BUT NONE OF YOU HAVE IRREGULAR PERIODS WHICH MEANS WATER GAIN!!!!

So I think I should get like TWO BOOKMARKS or something and a shiny gold star cause I'm sure by next week I'll be at like 390 or something.

Please note ... my weight IS embarrassing, I don't think I even LOOK like I weigh that much. I don't know what part of me weight that, I'm like maybe I'm just muscular (lie, lie) ... but I am tall 5'8.5 .. maybe 5'9 ... and I'm proportioned enough that some folk ask if I shop at Old Gravy. Come-on ... dude, maybe Old Gravy PLUS size.

*SIGH* Oh well, I wrote a short story in my free time in my bedroom, I kinda like it, and I began another short story. Amazing what you can do with a lot of time on your hands.

I just realized that sitting here by the kitchen after being in my bedroom locked up for a week ... makes me realize that in my room I'm not really hungry, down here I feel like ... okay what snack can I have... WTF? Break-through? Nix the drive through?

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pet ramps