What a week. It's been crazy to say the least. I had lunch w/ the paper's publisher and soon after emailed him and the head of HR about me applying for three jobs there, then never talked to - them keeping my portfolio for a month under stacks of paper ... then me having to hound HR about what the status of the job was.

Never once did anyone "talk" to me about applying and what I could do to get into such a position - as with interoffice hiring, they are supposed to talk to you after they say no, but no one ever said NO ... except for the one bitch who said she wasn't interested - didn't even look at my portfolio.

SO this HR chick is supposedly supposed to "call me in" Monday to "talk" about it.

I equate that to bull shit, lie, lie, bs it's-not-our-problem type of thing.

I say fuck this, at least that is ON the table and to know you cannot treat fellow employees like shit.

I also ... after emailing out a zillion times on LATE ads, the publisher emailed me and EVERYONE (artists, managers, ad reps) ... this message "Jennifer, thank you for being so dilligent in your position. Please contact me as soon as you get this."

I was like oh ... my ... god I'm about to get fired! But I ways already heated up as it was 6:30 and I should've left at 5 ... so I called him up lickety split ready for battle. But he was nice and said I can see you're frustrated and why is this happening? So I kind of VENTED TO THE PUBLISHER about how people just wait and forget and let others pick up their slack.

I felt awkward about this since now he KNOWS ME from the luncheon, whereas before I was just a face in the crowd. Now I have a name and a position and now I have people talking about me.

The next day I had a lot of people apologizing to me about what happend the night before.

The one girl, called me UP the night before asking for run numbers (what you file your ad with) ... she has the numbers and it's HER JOB to do it. I said NO I AM TO BUSY. So she bawks, WELL I AM BUSY TOO, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO....

Mind you, it only takes a MINUTE to look up a number.

This same girl was one of the habitual late people ... she is the one whom I told THREE TIMES to file her ad, then having an ad manager tell her THREE TIMES. I told the ad manager that it still was not filed and to pls tell her once again, if it isn't filed by then I will promo it.

So you can guess I ended up promo'ing it.

I told my boss the next day about it and she said GOOD for you. So Monday I expect her ass to be at my desk throwing a FIT. I will say you were TOLD 6 (fucking) times!!

Anyway the publisher asked me to set up a meeting with all the key players to talk about this problem. He says I need to have a life outside of this job and having to wait for others is selfish and rude to me.

So yeah, that is the state of things in my ho-hum job ... which now is like heating up and now making me the household name.

****

So again - at work - this woman comes up to talk to me and asks me about ex-boyFIEND and I say ... we broke up - rather cooly.
She gasps! WHAT! WHY? I tell her reasons - he's not ready for a relationship.
She, I thought was his biggest fan, says ... yeah ... with him ... he is immature. I tell her about how he bailed on me going to see my grandma's house how important that was to me and he simply said .. "oh I'm sick ... and have a lot of stuff to do...." .. how cold that was to me. She said ... yeah he did that to us to ... he's very immature ... and he'll never change.
I say, he'll never get divorced.
She says, yes and that HOUSE, god he'll never leave it. "You see it would take a hercularian (sp?) effort for those to get done ... and he just doesn't put any effort into it ... I always wondered why he was still married when you guys were dating ...."

It felt SO good to hear this, to feel that you know what ... everyone KNOWS how he is.

And the woman told me ... "Jen, I'm really proud of you not to stay with that. Some women would stay...but you have a really good head on your shoulders. You deserve better."

Like butter! I was very pleased to hear this, just to know this, everyone knew and maybe everyone thought I was a fool, but now, these key people ... all know now.

They all relate and say good for you and what is said is I'm not bashing him, just stating FACTS. I'm sure he has his story of how I'm "to young!" and other BULL SHIT ... but whatever is clever.

I also spoke w/ his friend - he hangs w/him every month ... this is the boy I was interested in when I first started there.

However, he is divorced, has baggage as well and no cash. Like an advanced ex-boyFIEND ... a mini-one ....

So we chatted and got along and I told him about the break up a lil ... and told him I was talking to the new guy - (NY guy) ... and things like that, how I wanted to quit there and how I am getting my Masters.

I'm thinking the whole time, lord I can imagine him telling said ex-boyFIEND about this and that ex emailing me some bs about something (control freak) ... and funny that friend of his was kind of slightly hitting on me, but knowing that you can't date a friend's ex ... not that I would, but fuck ha.

SO la la la.

OH and that woman mentioned this guy at work that I've ALWAYS had a kind of crush on. It was surreal when she said ... do you know ******* he works in ****** and he's nice and a dry sense of humor .... I said YES I KNOW HIM, I've seen him, I've always thought he was cute... She laughs and I say...well put in a good word for me.

She gets this sly look on her face.

So later that day this boy walks by my desk and I pretend not to notice and he's looking at me. And I'm wondering if she said anything and hoping she wasn't like "Jen thinks your cute" ... so high school-ish.

But right now I'm to the point where...I've finally changed into this big mouthed, no nonsense bitch. Like ARE WE GOING TO DO THIS THING OR NOT? ARE YOU GOING TO ASK ME OUT OR NOT?

Ah, change, right now, I'm bittersweet.

Oh well I gotta go to Wal-fart and get my oil changed ...(uggg 20 mins of turd world nation and busy busy busy) ... then to the gym, then to cock-buster to drop off a shitty movie I rented (D arkness) .... then home and then I plan to go SOMEWHERE ... maybe to hallmark for mudder's day stuff....?

I kind of enjoy this free-time ... me-time right now.

I do not enjoy living with sister and boyfriend ... they came home at 2 or 3 am ... and I believe took a shower together as I heard some things and I drifted in and out of sleep.

Is it me, or is that disrespectful? IF you want to get your fuck on...I mean we have a full basement with a king bed ... that is 2 floors down from where I am..ala won't hear anything.

I ALSO, hate, want to tell said sister about the KISSING. I HEAR IT. The *smack* sound like a fucking fly swatter hitting wood ... smack smack smack .... pause...smooth.

WHO FUCKING KISSES THAT LOUD? AND I'M IN THE NEXT ROOM?

Come into them hugging and kissing and they continue on like I'm a ghost.

Oh people, this is wonderful...right now as I type ... I hear her bed squeaking BIG TIME as they are FUCKING AS I TYPE THIS...DISGUSTING.

Ok I am leaving, I feel so disrespected and so upset because either I MOVE OUT from this...or GO TO COLLEGE.

WHich would you do? Oh GOOD he just came and I hear that .. "ooh ooh...whoaa...."

Way to go. I feel like throwing up.

God, should I tell my therapist this? i can't talk to my parents about it, or my sister ... can I really say, hey I hear you fuck and I hear you kiss ... can you please stop? She'll say it's my house and to leave.

What is there to do??? God now I want to cry, and now I see why I feel depressed as I work in a job I get disrespected at, I live at a place where I am disrespected, I had a boyfriend who was disrepecting me...thanks.

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pet ramps