Ex-MAN IM'ed me ... it's kind of strange because I want to say, you know you don't have to do this.

You know, we don't really have to be friends.

It's kind of like when you say "See you later!" to someone you'll never see again.

So a break up ends with "lets remain friends" ... that doesn't mean you actually still TALK and stuff.

I means you don't hate each other, but you don't exactly still speak with each other.

I know you've known this person 5 months, but in the vast healing process and the starting anew...this doesn't involve person A ... who fucked over person B ... to be there acting as if they still care.

Me: I talked about my therapist, said I have a date next week.

He: Isn't that to early?

Me: No, because I think I went through the motions prior to last weekend ...

Him: Hurt.

Me: ... Shouldn't have said anything.

Him: Don't let guys kiss you on the first dates because that means they'll be a jerk. (He kissed me on the first date)

Me: All guys are jerks.

.... And so on. So stupid. I know he was just thinking like boyfriend mode. Maybe "missing" me ... something ... realizing what he lost?

Realizing and feeling guilty on how he treated me?

ME: FEELING like you know what? I'm nearly over this man because I really didn't care and maybe he was looking for the old Jenny who gave a shit for him. That girl is gone now ... left is this girl who will never, ever care for him like I did.

Better than GOLD I treated him. Better than any girl ever ever will.

I see myself, with the right man, will treat him like fucking treasure. All I ask is for you to love me, to treat me as I treat you, be there. Just be there.

So I feel ... empowered now. I feel kinda good, I feel...like I'm getting over it. Seeing this is why God had this interaction ... for me to realize, that wow ... I am over it almost ... wow.

Wow...realization, right now --- good thing. ;)

So I feel like maybe he's realizing what he lost and finally feeling that ALONENESS that I've felt for a couple of months. What a cold feeling, to realize there is no one special ... no ... really WHAT IT IS ... that there is no one who "ESPECIALLY" cares for you right now. More than family and friends, you realize ... how fucking cold and alone you can feel when you realize that one person who kept you warm ... doesn't care anymore.

I realized this months ago but lied to myself thinking it'd get better ... him ... I see ... for the first time ... is feeling THIS feeling.

Ha. Feel it baby, FEEL IT and learn from it. Because once that flame is gone, it gets cold fast.

HA!!! :) I feel pretty fucking GOOD right now! Finally getting over it, like boom! Like yay! Almost ready to move on! Thank you God.

My mom said today I seemed so much like I used to be today ... and I smiled more today and just felt like okay this isn't going to be easy, but changing my life is the boost I need to get back on top. To ... say FUCK THIS, here I AM. See me, deal with it. Just deal with it.

�

pet ramps