Eh.

Okay so boyfriend did not meet my mom due to ... something that I cannot write in here.

It's nothing bad - I told him to not worry about it - just something with the big "D" ... something upset him and meeting someone in my family just was not a good move.

There is still loads of time and no hurry, so it's okay.

I've been eating shitty the past few days with me parents in town. Not exactly HORRID, but today I'm not counting points to closely. I had chinese for lunch and did weigh myself today and those 3 lbs found there way back, however perhaps that is due to me not drinking a lot of water and sick to my stomach last night (you'd think I would've lost) ... but I feel bloated because my period is still kinda going, and my stomach is in shambles it seems due to that.

I wish it'd stop and I think I've been under to much stress lately, therefore making my period crazy and then dieting and exercising... a lot to deal with in my uterus I guess.

But I'm doing okay. Just kinda like yeah, okay.

Did have a good talk with two online friends - which you guys do help me out even if I get shitty sometimes, I really do listen and taken what you say to me to heart or at least muse on it. You know who you are and I thank you for helping me out or making me feel not that crazy as I do a lot of the time.

Especially in the relationship field where I don't know what I'm doing half the time, it's a comfort.

Anyway, my job situation right now I'm not sure what to do - so I'm just going to go with the flow and I know something will turn up. I'm thinking about going back to college for my masters, however I'm not sure it'll even help me in my career as...in my luck it will hinder me. People won't want to pay more for this gurl with a masters in communication.

So I don't know, just kind of thinking and not really serious about it yet.

I kind of want to lay back and just BE for a while now. A few weeks off, a lil' vacation for myself so to speak. I want to get back on track with my WW - I feel like I've fallen off a lil' with my parents being here (I'm not blaming them) ... however I DID say no to pizza and had a WW meal. Today, though, I did eat a okay breakfast, but dinner I'm going out to see my boyfriends office and then dinner with him.

So out to eat again - and yes, more fretting about WHAT to get.

I went to the store today and bought more frozen meals - I love the things it seems, so much variety and easy and they taste okay to me. Just simple, mindless way. I also bought some oranges and some WW frozen ice cream/cookie bars.

So it's not that bad, but it's so so easy to fall off the wagon and so easy to say fuck it, I'll just eat right later on.

This is a life change and that isn't right thinking. So I still am beginning (fuck it's only my SECOND week on this)...so.

So my next WW meeting is in APRIL. I didn't go today and next week is Easter ala' no meeting. So I have this time to really lose weight so when I DO get weighed again I don't look like I've been doing NOTHING!

I also realized on weigh in days, I think I will eat very little/nothing for breakfast. heheh Just to WEIGH less, anything.

I know that's wrong, I'm sure I'll have a banana and wait until after I'm weighed to really eat. I just want to have some TRUE weight and not something scattered by a glass of milk and cereal and fruit.

Eh, I guess that's only a few ounces and not pounds...err..I dunno...nevermind.

Okay I planted/started some flowers today for spring. I planted (indoors in a starter kit) impatients, panies, those small pumpkins and some lumina (white) pumpkins.

So yay. I am going to plant the pumpkins at my boyfriends due to nice yard space for them - and my crazy sister not wanting that.

Though I think I'll plant two here just because.

The flowers I think I'll plant here as well. I love pansies, they are one of my favorite flowers, they are just so happy. I also love the impatients when you water the fuck out of them and use a lil' miracle grow and you have these massive gardens of them, like in Michigan how my mom would have these huge ass boughs of them and I just loved the little flowers and the joyful look of them.

God I sound gay.

Anyway ... I bought some clothes at Lane B two days ago. That place has some fucked up things now. Like who the shit would wear that? Some whorey skirt or revealing shirt. Please, I'm fat not a size 0 teenager. I did, however, buy this soft pink with irredesent sequen scarf thing. I don't know why I like it so much, it's just coolio to me. I wore it out to eat with a black tshirt and wore it around my neck, I looked a lil' bit to much like rogue in X-men with my streaked hair, although I wasn't wearing any gloves.

Now I'm sounding nerdy.

But I did buy some jeans and they don't quite fit ... so am working to get in them. They are a size 24 - which I DO wear...however they have fucked up sizes where sometimes I can wear a 22, then other times a 26 ... it's fucked up. I wish sizes were regulated because you end up taking like 4 of the same pant into dressing rooms ... either the hips fit and the waist doesn't. Or the waist is fine, but the hips are to tight. Or the whole thing is to big, or to small...I hate buying pants.

Thankfully my lil' gurl boobs seem to have no issues with shirts - expect those cross cut ones where I do not have the boobage to hold the shirt up/shut and that means I have to either A. Sew the shirt shut (I've become very good with needle and threat - hiding my small stiches) or B. using safety pins and pinning it to the top of my bra so it doesn't fall open.

So *sigh* I wish I could sew my own clothing sometimes, but it seems way TO hard and I'd probably make a sleeve wrong and I don't understand darts and pleats and stuff. And yeah, I'd be like no.

So now I'm blabbing on again.

I also am going to start reading again, I haven't read a book since I was on the ship! I feel like I need to because I feel like I'm getting stupid. hehe. Well not that...but just feel like I need to wake up the ol' brain.

I also want to get my fake nails back - but...feel guilty since then I cannot play the violin. I also want to buy a crab at Petco ... and maybe a guinea pig ... but these things are yet to come cause my sister will flip when I do. :)

I can't wait to live on my own. I'm just kooky enough to have a lot of pets and a hobby area where I can start on my crazy quilt again...and and and.

I don't know, it's so nice to sit back and muse about stuff sometimes. Just feel like the world is just a-okay right now. Maybe it is or it isn't.

But right now...okay.

�

pet ramps