It's another hum-drum day again...I have to update quick-ish as I shall be late for work AGAIN.

I always seem to be running late anymore, I used to be punctual and be like 10 minutes early, now I'm usually 10 mins late. My fucking period is acting WERIOD. Like spotting for a day, then stopping, then spotting for the morning then done. So I think my body skipped this month, however...is still uh...working stuff out inside? hehe I don't really mind, but hate feeling like at any moment the gates could open and me without a good paddle. Or yeah, oh man I should update my other diary too cause now ... yeah I feel like next time...you know what I'm talking about?

ANYWAY, it's snowing/sleeting/raining today and I'm really tired of this weather. It's either sunny and cold or gray and rain/snowy. It seems there are MORE gray days than sunny days and I so miss the sun and warm weather. Oh please tell me WHY I quit a job in the Caribbean?

My guy is acting all fruity today, I know it's because he leaves on Wednesday and somehow he is all sentimental looking and giving me some sentimental looks and looking like he needs some attention? Contact? Love?

I understand that it's hard, but to me it's so exciting and I'd be thrilled if I were him. I know leaving is hard, but not all change is that bad .... I sit there and hear of so many people trying to get a new job and stuff, it's like...what am I doing? I feel like I should be looking, but I'm not.

Right now, I seem just to be still apartment hunting.

However, I have to save more monay since I paid $200 on visa, then fucking put back that $200 with an Old Gravy clothes sale! Shitties. Oh well, I'll be alright if I don't spend to much money - until I get paid again.

My sister got mad at me last night for me reclaiming MY cheater box from HER bedroom. See when I moved out, I left a lot of my stuff here, my tv hooked up to my cheater. Sooo she took it from my room sometime in the 2.5 years I was gone. Which is OKAY with me. I didn't care. So yesterday - I took it out of her room since she doesn't really watch that much TV in her bedroom ... and I do...and yeah I paid for the thing too! So she sees it and is like .. "is that the one downstairs?" I say...."we have one of those downstairs??" And I change the subject to something else.

So zoom past a few hours and she opens my door and sniffy and says ... you know you didn't even ASK to take that, you just TOOK it and you couldn't even TELL ME that you took it ....that's just .... *makes a shitty sound* and slams the door.

I'm like WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. I didn't even respond. It was like fuckingn grow up, Jesus Christ. It's MY FUCKING BOX that YOU TOOK FROM MY ROOM W/O asking me and now you're pissed that I took it back...when you don't even watch TV in your room!?

A major WTF moment. So I'm sure when she gets home tonight she'll be all COLD to me and not talking or sharp or bitchy or all of those things.

What the fuck EVER. So I'm all heated already. Also am spurred on upon my period trying to come out ... and feeling, odd like okay I'm like ... losing intest in the .... shit will update that part in my OTHER diary.

Okay ... so I'm just pissed that she got pissed and am like I so want to move out and am all like why don't I make more monay at work and am all like, I better end this diary cause I'm going to be late for work.

I guess I just feel frustrated today and kinda mad cause in my Old Gravy order I also paid for my sisters things ... and I bought HER lunch yesterday, took her to this SHIT bridal show (I got FREE tickets) ... and also paid the cable bill for this month, yet I feel like she's going to pull the THIS IS MY HOUSE thing on me. *gag*

Oh yah, gurls....if you're not getting married ... not engaged, don't go to bridal shows cause what you feel like there ... is like you're surrounded by your worst family member. I got "so when are you getting married?" asked to me SO many times.... I'd say ... "I'm not, my sister is..." so they'd be like "hmmph" and just move on to the next person like I was SHIT cause I didn't have a ring on my finger.

Then this woman thought my sister and I were lesbians and shit and I was like WTF! We are sisters and look alike...we both didn't say anything cause it'd probably sound like a lie and the woman would be like..."it's okay Honey I understand..." or something. ew.

Me and my sister look a lot like too. THEN THIS other woman ... who I was thinking ... damn she wears TO much makeup....in a karma thing says to me ... "so are you the sister or the mother?"

WHAT!? Do I really look old enough to be a MOTHER of my sister who is OLDER than me? I was like... UH THE SISTER OH MY GOD! ... The woman was like...oh...and was like do you want some cake I was like ohh hell nooo and waved my hand and walked away.

The only good thing I got out of it was looking at pretty stuff and free samples! Yes! Hair stuff and flowers and candy and stuff!

I also felt...like weriod cause weddings cost so much and for what?

I found a bouquet I'd get should I ever get married, 12 calla lillies with some soft pink roses ... and little white flowers (button flowers?) .... and I adored the thing! I asked the guy how long those lillies lasted and he said they outlast roses normally. So out of a table of bouquets I picked the most expensive...at $200 bucks for this small ass thing....I was shocked.

But I really like the look of calla lillies..and like those tightly bound bouquets...not those monster ones or shit hanging off of it. I also found one that had these bread clear beaded leaves .... it was unique looking and not trashy like 80% of wedding stuff I see today. I mean holy shit people don't have taste ... precious moment bull shit...yuck. I'm all classic and clean style like martha stewart-y. Very neat and clean and sparse, that's what I like.

Oh well, a girl can dream can't she?

When I was there, I kept thinking GOD what would it be like to know I'm getting married? I mean to have to plan all of this shit and .... me... I can't see it.

Oh well I think I'm going to go to the gym tonight? I'm not sure yet I feel kinda tired however don't want to come home to my BITCHY sister and her tantrum over shit. But my head hurts as well so the gym and all the loudness of it all....I don't know yet.

Ugh. I also got out my WW stuff and am going to try that up again. I want to get some pita bread, cream cheese and cucumbers...that just sounds good. A sprinkle of pepper...yum. I guess I should be happy I don't really like red meat that much...cause that's a lot of points!! However, I do love my coke and that's 3 pts a can right there. I'll use coke as a dessert or something.

Hm. I don't want to stress on it, or freak on it or else I won't do it. I am so happy I found the stuff though. I majorly cleaned out my room...bagged up two garbage bags of goodwill clothes and threw out one bag of stuff. And just cleaned and put away. I have a whole wardrobe of stuff I want to wear when I lose like 10 lbs. I think that'll be my first goal...lose 10 lbs, wear clothing that has been in back of closet to long.

Hm.

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