You just have to love sunny days. I mean there is not a cloud in the sky and the blue, the blue looks almost purple, almost electric that it kinda hurts your eyes.

It's cold out, but crisp and sharp and just wonderful. But it seems people are cranky today. My sister and her boyfriend are fighting, so I'm just going about my own business and just ignoring.

I woke up a lil' cranky cause I had to tinkle SO bad and someone was in the bathroom showering. So I went to the basement and the boyfriend was down there and I was like Oh my GOD I am going to piss myself. I mean it's MORNING tinkle, like urge all night sitting in my bladder tinkles.

So I begged my sister to step out of the bathroom and I went for like 10 minutes. I felt bad cause then the bathroom seems like piss - you know it does.

So she goes in to blow dry her hair and her boyfriend is now up there and goes in the bathroom with her and sits down. I'm thinking, ew it smells like pee in there and I hear my sister say she hates that smell and I'm like what the FUCK and laughed. Hhehe

But her boyfriend, he has problems below because that boy eats and a minute later he's in the toliet making his own meal. I mean it smells ROTTEN and cause my room is across from the bathroom, smells get sucked up there. So my room smells like SHIT a lot of the time. It's so gross. I mean courtesy flush already.

Okay sorry for the rant on body smells, but that was my morning.

I went to the gym and worked out really well today - 30 mins on the bike (and watching a show on shipwrecks on Discovery Channel) 20 minutes on the ellipical trainer (watching some VH1 show about celebrities losing weight) ... and then 10 mins lifting weights for my arms. I figure I do lower body with the machines and upper with the weights. Eh. I was there an hour and was happy with myself.

So I got home and washed the dog and washed his bedding - yuck - and made myself two tamales for lunch and am going to run to Lane B to return a shirt and yeah.

I feel like just watching tv and doing nothing today. I'm going to call my boyfriend/number 1 guy and see how he's doing today. He's supposed to call the wifey and tell her to get the divorce calls made to the lawyers or whatever. I'm hoping it goes smooth.

I was talking to him about going to Michigan on Feb. 11 and he was like, well if the court date is that day, then I can't go. No shit. I wanted to say, I worked as a court reporter for Circuit Court in Michigan. I SAW divorce proceedings and SAW timelines for divorces. It's not fast at all. There are court dates and if my guy decides to sue her for money for her stomach stapling, you're talking MONTHS here.

Just a basic divorce, from what I've seen, takes a while - I mean I know they both agreed on the divorce and there are no assets to divide, a "clean" divorce, however, you have to get served papers for it to appear in court, then you have the first court date where you merely state the case, and since neither of them are going to motion, then they have 60 days to motion before their next case where the judge will sign away the divorce.

So yes, you're talking at least two months from the first hearing.

Which is why I half heartedly push my lover to get this started. Because to me, June is my deadline. And time passes quickly and things are left for later and pushed onto the other person ... and I know my honey wants to get it done. So I'm happy he's pushing the envelope with the wifey because if I wasn't here I'm sure nothing would've been done for ... God knows how long.

So I don't know, I feel weriod again about my boyfriend, like unsure again. Not of him, but of myself and how I seem to him sometimes and if I seem like I push him away sometimes.

I know I'm changing again, and I just hope I dont' get stupid because sometimes I wonder what I'd do if we broke up, I can't be alone now, not after tasting love and a nice solid relationship. Something so real. And in saying that, it's like, what do I have to worry about? I think we're both like that, scared to lose each other and knowing we've gone so far, to far so fast that now if it were to end, it would be very painful. Something I can't even comprehend right now. I guess that in itself answers my question and is the answer.

Okay so what, I'm finally really and knowing I'm in love with the man. I feel weriod saying it because now I know it's so true.

Okay anyway, I'm on a mission to like lose weight and save money. It's weriod because I do pretty well now with saving. I'm still bummed about having to spend $180 on my tire, but I know it could've been so much worse ... but it's okay isn't it?

I need to start thinking about what to get my guy for Valentines Day. I think I'll send him flowers (proflowers has $30 doz roses - sometimes 2 doz!) ... and I think some silk blk boxers and something else ... perhaps I'll go buy him a piece of clothing. I'd rather get him things he can use and wear instead of candy or some goofy ass trinket. I was thinking of getting him this red dress shirt he was looking at and a tie, but that ... is like ... at least $80 bucks right there...hm. That's to much for VDay ...so I still have time to think.

I'm so excited to have him on Valentines Day, I might cook for him or something or go out for dinner or something. But if we go to Michigan that weekend before, I think we should celebrate it then or something? I don't know. I just hope he can get off of work, or else that'll suck. I just need some type of vacation to look forward to. Something to be excited about. I know in the spring/summer we're going to take a road trip somewhere. He wants to visit his sister who lives in like Montana or something too. Er. Yeah.

I just hate meeting his friends ... the one was like ... "she's young isn't she?" People seem to think I am 21 years old or 23 when I'm really 27. My guy looks about 32-34 when he's really 39. SO we're young looking, and I think my guy likes that I look so young, yet sometimes feels odd by it cause he gets tired before me all the time and not as much energy as I have. But hell I've ALWAYS had to much nervous energy. Rar! I don't know why. I'm nuts I guess.

Okay, anyway, my stomach is hurting today. I hope my period isn't come yet. I counted last month and I'm not due until the 1st of Feb. I mean if my period is thinking about going right each month ... and it went for 6 days last time, so it's like what the HELL is my body doing? Like it's trying to do right, or I think it's because I've lost a lil weight and am exercising again ... and maybe my weekly fuck on with my boyfriend has something to do with it?

Okay anyway, god I'm digging the Maroon 5 cd. I burned a copy off the net and all grooving to it - my fav song is Sunday Morning. It reminds me of me and my guy.

Okay off to Lane B. and I will not (will try not to) buy anything. I don't really need anything, though I might look at the undies cause you can't beat those 5 pairs for like $20 or whatever deals! Or bra sales, though everyone buys out the 40 b or 40 c ... damn why do manufacturers think that just cause I'm fat I have big boobs? I have small boobs. Hell I bought this shirt from Torrid and Jesus christ, the boob area was so large that where the shirt is supposed to fit under the boobs ... well it was at my WAIST! lol! Good gravy man, geez o pete. *Sigh* I'm glad I don't have big boobs, I think I'd look 15 lbs heavier if I did. Yeah I like my lil' gurls, they are a lil more than a handful and my guy has big hands so yeah he says they are "perrrfectt and beautifulll" ya right. heheh I love when he tries to sweet talk me.

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pet ramps