Okay, I decided today, that I am going to move out of my sisters house.

I got home after being at the gym. I was in a pretty good mood, so I went upstairs to like undress. So I hear my sister and her boyfriend in the the bathroom together and the shower is going. And I'm feeling, like ... ew, I've just walked in on something.

So I get grouchy and all because it's very uncomfortable to come home to that.

SO I sit on my bed and feel like crying and decide, okay now, I am going to move out regardless of what my parents or sister says.

SO I tell my sister this and she's like okay, well just make sure you save enough ... and I say.... I KNOW. So she says I have a shitty attitude. I said "I'm not stupid." So she's all bitchy and is like I know you think we dont' want you here and you're wrong, we don't care.

I'm like, sure. So she's like, well if you weren't so crappy to my boyfriend he has stuff at his house like a new fridge and microwave and bed.... Like saying if I kissed his ASS I could get those things?

So I'm like I DON'T NEED THOSE THINGS. And she's all like, well you MIGHT and tells me to cut my pride.

I'm like. Again, I'm answering and being QUESTIONED FOR WHAT I WANT TO DO.

So my plan is to save up money and move out in say March-ish? I really want to go to Michigan to get my bed and some things, so that would mean renting a U-haul or something like that unless my parents should be home at that time whereas they could help me move....

But I need to haul my bed, a dresser, God, a couch, and lord knows what else, a table, chairs, tv, and the like.

It's something to look forward to, and finally be happy about because how I felt when I came home tonight, it was just really really bad.

I mean really bad. I do feel like an intruder here and I know he wants me out however way he puts it, I fucking hate sharing a roof with this fucking stranger who seems to think he can yell at my dog and walk around here and kiss and touch my sister RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME as if I'm not even here.

And use our computer and our screen names and internet ... my wait it's MY COMPUTER and leave on lights and mess up the house and and and, it's just a lot that I'm tired of. I can't say anything on, and if I did, my sister would say IT'S MY HOUSE.

Fuck that, I'm tired of it all. I don't care anymore what anyone says, it's my LIFE and my MONEY.

So yeah. Okay, I will plan for this and will save. I opt to spent at least $400 to 450 a month on rent ... on freedom. Other than that, my other cost will be renting a uhaul or whatever. Yikes!

Anyway, I also got a bit upset today thinking about my guy. Just thinking about why didn't he wait until he was divorced to start dating me? Or have all of these problems fixed before he decided to woo me. Why didn't he do these things instead of having me along for this ride?

I'm half way mad at this thought, not sure why, but part of me, knows that we're bothing changing at this point into becoming so comfortable with each other that it's like family. And like family we'll stick with each other and help and love love love each other.

Still, I sometimes feel scattered in this whole situation and yes, it's time for a change, time to compromise my life just for a while (as Jason Mraz would say it.)

Anyway, so I'm happy to be excited about the prospects of a decision made and said and nearly set in stone. So now, I must save up money like a mofo. I want to save up $1,000 in my savings just to be safe ... perhaps a bit more to spend on things that I don't have and might need - such as dishware, silverware ... towels. But those things I know aren't that costly. I'm not adverse to going to yard sales and the lot to buy mix and match cool dishes and silverware. I love that.

I think I'll save up $500 to buy a couch and chairs from IKEA ... maybe a new table for the kitchen area from like Target or something. And the rest is okay. God I love this idea.

Okay so now I must save money. That's so hard to do for me it seems, but now that I have this...and my checks are about $750 ... uh, nix off $50 for my cell phone a month ... and my visa has I think $200 on it ... I think I could very well save up enough. I have $350 in savings right now with $200 in checking. So I'm well on my way.

Okay I should sell some shit on ebay to help my lot out as well. HM!

Ok this is something to definately look forward to, it's exciting!

Other than this, I am going to plan a trip up to Michigan with my guy to check on my parents house and visit where I used to work. I want to take off a Friday and drive up with him so we can get there in the day light and also stop by my old work place to say hello. I just hope the snow isn't to terrible. I'll have to call someone to plow possibly. But I think this mini vacation will be good for us.

Okay I'm happy now and happy to be looking foward to ... yeah this certain freedom of coming home to my own space and answering to NO one and questioned by NO one and just being me and living like I do when I do and what I do ... all on my own.

Yeah it's time for a change. I realized it today and I want to change myself as well, lose weight and just become different and more open. Okay yay! I'm also thinking about growing out my hair again, to my shoulders, I'm tired of this short shit. I am starting to feel old in it, a bit to butch for me ... just another change needed. I want my pony tail back!!

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