Okay, over-reacting again. Today was nuts and I'm just all willy nilly at work and just to busy to think about anything anymore.

And I'm stopping obsessing and reading all the signs and now am like if it'll be it'll be and am all like maybe I should be more unavailable and stuff like that.

Or else, I figured why not just be me and say FU to whatever doesn't like it or responds to it.

It's the whole parent thing. My parents are all digging this guy I've only dated...yeah ONCE. And they are all like "we want to meet him!" and I'm all like ... well ... who knows if it'll work and all this pressure for it to work, it's like I don't even FEEL like it's my relationship, but theirs and like ... shit. It's all my fault anyway.

But I'm banking on this weekend, seeing if he calls and if he doesn't and it goes on that we do nothing, that'll be a deal breaker right then and there. Because that'll say a lot about "us" or me and him. However if he does call and we do go out, I'm going to worm-i-ly ask about the whole US thing and about the dating OTHER people thing and like this whole WHERE IS THIS GOING type of thing.

The thing is. How do you ask those questions without seeming to EAGER and creepy. He'll think it's "cute" and "sweet" and talk in that softer voice that I heard the night we went out and then sometimes at work. That "look I care" voice.

But could this all be a game? Could the flame have died out from Monday to Tuesday to now, Thursday? God, I'm thinking on a day inbetween, and like he's lost interest that fast and furiously. It cannot be, but things like this have happened before.

This, my friends, is my baggage. This thing about guys leaving me. It's happened before and I try to hold my heart to near to myself and sometimes, like with this guy I let it out and let him know how I feel, but yet I feel as if I don't know enough from him to be certain.

I wonder if he feels the same or thinks I'm coming on to strong and crowding him and all of that.

Hm. I don't know. It's annoying.

ANYWAY I see Pooks tomorow and we're gonna hang out and stuff. I can't wait to, we always have fun.

Oh well I better get going, I'm going to be late for violin, in which I did not practice a shit this week.

Ugk. Today has been nuts and I feel tomorrow will be equally as shitty and man. Yeah okay I'm going to start acting like me now.

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pet ramps