Yeah.

Man. I went on TWO dates this weekend! I have SURVIVED!

YES!!!!!

I went out with CHICAGO guy. Who was a complete moron. Not to mention I kept comparing him to my work guy/Mr. Right.

So I went with Chicago guy Saturday, we went to see Ray and then out to eat. He was a dead fish, didn't really talk and when he did, said all the wrong things in a monotone voice. Doesn't like family stuff and thinks I'm immature.

He opted to hold my hand a bit in the theater. (Ick how can you say no to that.) Then after about 10 minutes of silence and a sweaty hand, removed his from mine. I kept thinking my work guy/Mr. Right would've NEVER had a 10 minute conversation lull and then remove his hand like that, if not to put it around me in some way.

No. Yeah. I know. Chicago guy, I didn't like him to begin with, but felt the need to go out so he'll just stop calling me and just for the last ho0rah. Because yes.

I like like like my work guy/Mr. Right.

We went out today, our second date and I truely feel very deeply for this man already.

He is my Mr. Right, says the right things and truely likes me for who I am.

No fake Jen, pure Jen. And I just adore him already and just love being with him and am just head over heels. And wow.

He makes me nervous and exhilarated! Oh man! I've fallen!

SOO he called me this morning and we chatted a bit and decided to meet at noon at the old newspaper office.

So ya ya I got in his car and he gave me a card ... it was a jokey one, that resorted back to our old railroad past where I kinda wigged out when he tried to kiss me ... lol ... but ... he also gave me this little dog thing ... cause he knows I adore doggies.

I was like AWWWWWW. So we drove out to this pathy/picnicy area and walked around. It was cold out, and this man had a plan ... hehe We walked around a few paths and ended up at this gazebo where I knew what was expected of that moment.

Me. Timid. Shy. Him ... giving that look me ... shy and timid and wanting to kiss him, but feeling shy and timid and scared. So I did a few peck kisses and huggies and that was about it. We walked to this creek area and just talked and talked and talked.

He was just so sweet and took care of me and we just talked about what we wanted and who hurt us and how much we liked each other and ... it was wonderful. I felt like saying, kiss me now, here but there were to many people around. And he's just so patient with me.

I found out the girl before me, he met on the net and met with her I think three times, where he said it was just physical the "rebound" relationship. And knew nothing was there.

And how me and him, was good. My shyness keeping that "just physcial" type of relationship at bay and me being in complete control of the whole kissy face stuff. And this type of innocent relationship and ... yeah.

It made me feel odd, him and that other girl and just the sex thing. I guess me still a pure gal cannot understand this and I know we're adults and yeah. But still, I was a bit jealous of that and kinda hoping he's not one of those guys.

So we went back to his car and sometimes I wish I could just kiss him and give him what he wants, but something in me is terrified of that.

So we went to the movies and went to dinner and he drove me back to my car.

I was nervous, but we hugged and did the mini peck kisses and he called me shy girl and I just felt like saying, I don't know what's wrong with me I want to kiss you so badly, but I'm just so unexperienced I don't know what the FUCK I'm doing, other than these peck kisses that aren't much of anything, then me running away and me saying I'm sorry for being like I am and ... I know, just feel that if I was just a bit more relaxed and tossing all cares to the wind, I could really give him what kind of kissing he wants.

I want to, just am scared to. I don't want to talk about the kissing thing and yeah.

Okay our next "date" is ... at his house. He wants to cook me dinner and then watch dvds. To me, that is saying, yeah, this is serious time. This is you and me ... alone. This is you and me with no interruptions. This is your and me taking time to do kissy face. This is the deal breaker I swear. So I know I have to get ready for this. I WILL do this and conquer it. I will I will. I just wish I knew what to do AFTER the peck kisses ... linger on the lips? I read this site on how to kiss as I do: "The Grandma
The basic kiss is the closed-mouth, centered smack. Boring! You can kiss your grandmother like that. (Try not to think about her while you're making a move on a stranger.) Your goal is to get past this point as quickly as possible. Start out with a few standard pecks in the middle of his mouth. Then make the next ones off center, above or below, or to one side or the other. Get him warmed up quickly. "

I believe some booze will be in order but damn it I will do this! lol I think if I want to continue on in this relationship, I think I need to move over young Jen and just calm down and look in his eyes and remove all doubts on how I feel about him.

The strange thing is, I know, it will come to that. I know it inside and right now, all I want to do is make him happy. Right now, he is consuming my life and I'm a happy giver.

I just wish I wasn't so scared that he'll leave me, dump me, after all of this, I don't want anyone else.

OKAY AND his parents went to my parents wedding! (His parents are deceased) ... and I knew his mom when I was a little girl. I told my dearie this and he was shocked. He says it's destiny ... and I'm like, what does that mean .... And I thought, just who is this man holding my hand right now? Is this the future?

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pet ramps