okay yeah.

Went out on my first date with worky guy and we had a good time. I mean he's so sweet and sometimes he just breaks my heart with all the shit he's gone through. It's like I feel guilty that I've lead this worry-free, easy life where I've never had heart-ache or broken heart or whatever.

But yes, he asked me today at work and I was like okay (ditched the whole gym idea) ... and we left at 5 ish and talked and talked.

It's like to a point where we just chat about the stuff that bothers us...I mean that is good. Like he asked if I kissed on first dates (mind you this was before we even ate! lol) and I was like uhhh...

My policy is that I do not kiss on first dates, but I like this man, so rules are made to be broken.

However, I've not kissed a man for some odd years, lot of years, so I'm rusty and so nervous that we chatted about that.

Chatted and came to a fucking train! So we're waiting and he gives me that LOOK and I'm like "oh fuck...shit".... so we laughed and I'm like I like you and want to ... but not here, not like this and blah blah I finally said yeah I'm shy and sorry, I feel bad.... So I said KISS MY cheek and he did and I was like ... oooh.

So I did the hand test - I always tell how much I like a guy by how his hands are.... I hate rough, icky hands. But his were so smooth and his fingers long and nice. I was like ... yup I like you.

Soo we chatted more about kissing - which I felt like a goon about because of my shyness and inexperience. I guess I just scream out innocent shy, coy, girl.

He says he likes that about me, and wants me to stop being so shy and that's just to hard for me when I like someone that much. But I've gotten better. His prescense makes me shutter even...lol in a good way mind you.

I'm not sure why I dig him so much, I keep thinking to fast, to soon, hell I'm already ...

Well okay we got back to the parking lot at work and I said get out of the car and we kissed.

Yes, this lil' Yenni did a test quickie kiss, then I was like.....oooh another.

lol They were quick, but enough for me for that time, and the first date .... it was nice and I wasn't terribly nervous, but felt good and felt okay with it....

So yeah I really really really really like him. It's so funny to think a month ago I was pissy because I was jobless then dateless. Now I have my dream job (well almost) and now I've met this man who is everything I've wanted, so kind and compassionate and likes me equally and isn't afraid to talk about these things that help calm me like kissing and can deal with my shyness. He is entirely wonderful right now ... and I now worry about something to stop this, him getting tired of me or something that will throw a kink in the mix and ... yeah, I'll be really hurt and ... god. Let's not think on this.

I invited him to Thanksgiving ... and I hope he comes.

*sigh*

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pet ramps