Well today will go down in history.

Some part of my history.

That day where, yes, the guy at work, he does indeed dig me.

For the first time I met someone in person, and became friends and now, we're "talking" ... talking in that way where we're trying to pick the best path to the land of relationship.

Googlie eyed, smiles, blushed cheeks, after working there a month, finally, finally. Finally.

I emailed him this morning (never emailed him before) and asked about a logo. He replied that he doesn't do that, however he's honored I go to him for my questions (I'm surrounded by people who'd know, but I wanted him.) And he said "but you never come to see me anymore ... *sigh*"

I could've let it alone. But I thought upon a good reply, an "I like you" reply...so I said something stupid like "well I'll have a quota of having three questions for you everyday."

I thought that ought to get the ball rolling, I dreamed for a moment of building and building in that information.

But in one day, we learned so much about each other, it was unreal. It's funny that yesterday, just yesterday I thought, why am I wasting my time? We'll never ever talk like that there is no private area or time to chat without ears or interruptions.

But I guess that has been changed all by email.

Anyway, we chatted and he asked how old I was ... etc. Here is his story:

He is 39, a leo-snake, lives really far from here (like a 30 mins drive!), has 3 dogs, lives alone, is seperated from his soon to be exwife of 7 years, been sep. for 7 months says he's totally over her said they'd be divorced, but he refuses to pay her money?, no kids (thank God!), uh, both parents are dead, has two step/brother/sister who are in their 50's and live far far away in like South Carolina and Colorado, soo he says the upcoming holidays will be hellish for him.

Me. Aw. Ooh. Aw. He also plays guitar, writes, and er ... paints? Very sweet guy, but I can see he's lonely, I wonder if he has friends on the side and know why, he seems to devoted to work.

And I keep thinking, is he like that last guy? Saying he's ready for a relationship, but really not?

No. I feel as if it's different. But ... he says I have the greatest smile that keeps him sane ... he asked if I was single ... and now when we see each other, it's odd.

Like in our eyes in our emails and words. It's very very hard to explain. But in his eyes I can see how he feels and how lonely and how bitter he seems and how sometimes it's hard for him to hold it all in and behind the funny exterior, I feel his interior is feeling relieved now, at the thought of, having a new friend to share things with. Thinking maybe lightening strikes twice with us.

Today he walked by my desk and leaned down and looked in my eyes and said, "It's like I've known you forever."

So this makes me shake and get sick to my stomach because I'm nervous and scared. I like him, but hate how I react to it, how I feel like I'm going to die if he looks into my eyes and I look away feeling as if I'm some loveless slob. I know for certain he's interested and I am interested too because of his kindness and beauty. But somehow I still feel silly and feel immature and dorky around him and I shutter to think at the date ... then the whole "will he kiss me thing."

And I hope this goes by slowly and yet hope he asks me out really soon because I want to get to a level really quickly of that comforting feeling of that someone else in the world that isn't related to you, that loves you and will accept you and still smile at you after you've said fuck off.

But we'll see tomorrow...still what a wonderful feeling.

�

pet ramps