After a weekend of moving, raking and then cleaning I am totally achy today.

I cleaned the basement with pooks - we moved out fitness equip, furniture and bags of junk. He left around 3, and I kept on trucking until 6 ish. So needless to say, everything on my body ached. My wrists really hurt for some reason.

Pooks was nice and told me his mom thinks me and him should get married. I snort laughed, yeah right, we'd kill each other. Eep. I don't like the M word when it comes to using Pooks name in the same sentence.

But it was a laugh. So on Sunday, I was still major achy and my sister and I raked the lawn. I told her my back hurt so I didn't want to mow or really do much. But she decided to ditch me and I ended up bagging up 4 sakes of leaves. My back felt like a twisted knot.

So today I felt kinda achy and tired all day. A little sickly feeling.

Soo other things that happened was my violin place is giving me that hour lesson for make up - those FUCKERS whose rules are double standards. They PISS me off and my teacher is just a punk ass KID and I'm all like, man if I could find another teacher I'd be OUT of there. But alright, I'll keep going and hopefully it'll get better because fuck that if I'm wasting my money on nuthin.

Okay sorry for that rant.

Uh, yeah so anyway at work the head of design KNOWS me, my work, etc. We're doing some design work for a page and she told my boss "I know Jen can do it" ... so they're still working out things. I think my boss knows that one day I'll find another job there and maybe that scares her to have to find someone new for my job, etc. But anyway I found out that I haven't been in this email list that gives out office news such as JOB postings. I wanted to scream.

But now I'm on the list so that's good news because before I didn't know what the hell was going on.

Anyway I went in this morning wondering about my work guy. Wondering if he'd apologize for being a complete dick to me on Friday.

So I got in and about 5 minutes later he's there saying Hi, Good morning. I say hi...good morning and how are you? And he's like okay and has to go and mutters something about mornings ... I think he came over to test the waters. To see maybe if I was going to hold a grudge.

I'm trying to see if he does these little visits to other people.

But I only see him coming to see me a few times a day. He saw me in the morning, then came around noon time, then did a walk by ... then around 4 he comes by and I'm like ... "are you looking for someone?" He's like no...just comeing to say hi. So we chat a bit and I say "do you ever work because you're always walking around?"

He says, "I'd go crazy back there and I just have to get up sometimes and see a smiling face." I was like OMG and he smiles and I say ... aww and laugh and say I should get up and walk around too.

That's the first time he's ever said anything like that to me. Other than the shoulder touch which I know is nothing, but the way he did it, it felt like something.

I'm kind of like mixed emotions, it's like, I like him, but I don't want to wait and wait for something that might never happen.

Or it could happen, if tarot is right, then it might happen. I just wish I knew and sometimes when he looks at me and I look into his eyes I feel shakey inside because of the gaze thing. The closeness and eye contact, I'm the one to look away.

But when he walks by, I stop and watch him because I want him to know I'm interested, and I smile at him all the time, he must know, but he's probably like me with these doubts, saying I don't know if he likes me.

But regardless, I'll just keep on my business and try to talk to him without feeling shit mouthed.

Anyway.....
My other guy, Chicago guy, I'm not really digging ... I mean he's nice, but I feel like I'm just not interested. He calls me and then I call him ... it seems a lot. Like he called last night and I didn't talk because I was tired. So I have to call him tonight and personally I don't feel like talking. I know I told him I'd call, and I will, but I want to keep it really short because I don't feel like talking that much.

See when I REALLY like a guy, I just don't think about other guys. Like my work guy, I just want HIM and no one else, but it's like damn I can't cut off all ties or else I'll have nothing....

So I don't know, I'm just...ugk.

Anyway, I'm going to exercise tomorrow, I'm sure I'll feel better by then. Today my head fuzzy, I ate some Skittles and I think the orange/citrus in it urked my allergies (allergic to oranges) ... sometimes I get nothing and then times like this I feel dizzy, hot and tired. Fuck, I hate that. How can an allergy make you react sometimes?

I've always had that, even as a kid I was like this. Just like if I eat garlic I sometimes get the hot, icky feeling like I'm going to faint. I think it's some shared chemical or something because damn. I always wonder if it's the acid in the stuff ... I think garlic must have some type of acidity in it, because damn....

Anyway okay yeah. I've been trying to eat better and it's like okay, doing good so far.

Okay I better go call Chicago man and get it over with.

I'm still stuck on work guy and maybe he means nothing and maybe he means something, I just wish things would progress ...and I know I have to help this along and try to flirt ever so lightly, but I first need to get the shit out of my mouth and talk.

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pet ramps