I'm like nervous. Like my date is in like t-minus 7 hours.

I went this morning and bought a pair of shoes (ya another pair!) and went to Target and bought some female stuff cuz yeah I got that right now.

I bought some lipstick, which stupidly was EYE SHADOW, so now I have mauve EYE SHADOW in a tube that looks like LIP STICK. WTF! Why do they have to package stuff that is the color of lipstick, right next to lipstick??

Geez.

NOT to gross anyone out (if so stop reading) ... but I bought some FDS spray - you know "female deodorant" ... just because I wondered exactly if well ... it worked. Not that I have an odor ... but ... well just maybe feel a bit more ... fresher.

Might I say, I do like the stuff. I know it's kinda funky. I bought some today with a guy at a counter watching me. I thought, well at least he knows I have a fresh crotch.

I just grossed myself out. Sorry.

Anyway, so yeah I found out my guy, friend, date, whatever is on a depression pill. I don't mind this because he's going through a tough time. So he told me the name and like any old reporter I looked up the stuff.

Has some side effects ... like sexual ones. Not that this is an issue as ... well it's not that type of relationship.

Still, it must suck to take a depression pill and have side effects, kind of defeats the purpose unless the purpose of that is to get your mind off of your problems and onto like your new sexual dysfunction.

Anyway, I will surely update after tonight. I just feel excited, but that old shitty part of me is like live it up cause it won't last. Or all of these bad things.

Think positive Jen. I am going to have to have a talk with myself and kick out these thoughts for now.

Still I get caught up on the whole CONVERSATION thing. I just don't dates where you have to CARRY IT.

Okay I'm just freaking myself out now. He's a nice guy, I'm a nice girl, it'll be fine.

OKAY okay OKAY I will be OKAY. Okay?

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pet ramps