Man. Last night. My fish died!

It was weriod I was talking to a friend and was like "I have a feeling roundy is going to die...."

I turn around and he's DEAD! I must be a fish whisperer or something cause I can tell when they are gonna die.

I'm not upset or anything, I don't know, fish I'm just not attached to. It's just ... a fish.

So I went to Walmart and bought three fish ($1 each) ... and lo and behold.

I'm looking at them around 6pm and count ... one, two, three, four ... umm five? Where is five?

I begin to freak out.

No floating, nothing.

He's no where!

So I call pooks and start sobbing..."I can't find stripey!" I figure that blackie ate him, but no, he couldn't have ...

So Pooks says to look around the floor and I do and get all paranoid about stepping on a dead fish.

So I get a flashlight and shine it in the tank looking and looking.

THEN I find him.

He died in the rocks. Like digging in for something tasty ... he kinda got sucked down as I have a bottom filter. And he's all STUCK and I'm all SCREAMING and nearly crying as I bash about and finally he comes up (I bought a net today too) ... and then put him in a baggy cause he's going back to Walmart for a refund!

EW.

Major EW. I sobbed into the phone "Pookie I can't take this SHIT!"

Then I go in to plug the light back in and the fucking wall socket breaks and is all loose.... So then I go and start to do something else and nearly fall.

Pookie thought I was having a nervous breakdown and wanted to come over. lol

No. I'm alright. A bit pms'ing and a bit angry at the world, but not that bad.

So ya.

I DID Talk to my connection yesterday. He did come through for me after my numerous attempts to contact him. He said he hasn't worked all week and is taking vacation sportically for the rest of this month. So I cry to him about not hearing anything and he agrees that not hearing is kinda good as that means I probably passed my editing test!!! ;)

Sooo, he nicely offers to call my interviewer and off handedly ask about the job ... not about me, just the job. But he calls and calls and she's busy so he ka-puts it.

That's okay. So I email her today and she doesn't reply. So I'm like, either she is off the rest of this week - to busy to check mail - or read my email and didn't reply.

Mom made it out that she read my email and pushed to hire me cause this girl needs a job or some out landish thing like that.

Er... sure.

Oh well. I took my walk again and kind of miss going to college as today they had a "party" outside for back to school. And seeing all the students and stuff, I wish I could go back.

That is one of my goals after I get a job, hopefully this job, to go back for my masters.

But alas...who knows what now. I just hate to think that most likely I won't hear from here tomorrow as I'm sure she took off Friday, Sat. Sun and Monday. So four days of waiting. Waiting ... and maybe Tuesday will be the green letter day. That'll be ... uh ... from my TAROT ... she said in 14 days, I had my tarot read a week ago today, so next Thursday is 14 days? Damn time goes by fast doesn't it? Man.

Ohhh okay keep positive says my mom and I think maybe I can WILL myself into a job now. MIND power and stuff like that and praying like MAD.

Although, last night as I spoke to my friend I was saying how I disliked churches and at the time I found Roundy dead. Sorry God? I mean ... seriously, I don't like churches because of how they seem to interpret the bible FOR you and I think that is something you should DO for yourself. Plus how they use the bible as an excuse for being a BIGOT (gay haters...etc.)

And that whole GOD FEARING thing ... I like to think of God as a friend. Why should I fear him? I respect him ... but fear him??? Isn't he supposed to be my friend??? I don't understand that part of the church thing .... But listen, I don't hate God or Jesus or anything, just his followers who go overboard...ya know? Maybe I just don't understand or if I was raised that way, I would understand.

ALTHOUGH I WILL SAY, there have been some preachers that I have listened to and really liked. The things they said were so eloquent ... like in this mass funeral I went to. It was a excellent speech, wow. I dunno.

But yea, I do want to be married in a church, so maybe I'm a hypocrite.

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pet ramps