I am 1,000 degrees today. I'm just angry, hot and blah!

My connection won't reply to my IM's nor emails.

I haven't heard anything from that job.

My parents/sister keeps calling and asking "have you heard anything yet? What are you going to do? When are you going to contact her? What do you think is going on?"

On and on.

I'm like I don't know, I don't know, JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

So I'm on edge to say the least. I did go for my walk and that was nice - except where I normally walk this dude was LAYING there. So I had to walk around and down on to concrete and walk around him.

Then I wash clothes and find my sister left a FULL PACK OF GUM in her jean pocket, which happend to go all over the laundry which contained TWO NEW SHIRTS OF MINE that are so lovingly splattered with MINT GREEN GUM.

Sigh.

When it rains it pours and I said to myself maybe it's GOOD she hasn't called me today, the shit day. Tomorrow I'll email her and then feel so uptight because...

Emailing an interviewer that you haven't heard from is NEVER ever good and I just KNOW the outcome will be BAD.

Ma says maybe she's on vacation, but I don't know why my CONNECTION doesn't tell me or whatever the FUCK he's doing!!!!!!!!

He read my email and for fuck's sake I hope he's not mad at me for something or like...doesn't want to tell me something bad.

Also my computer is acting up suddenly. I swear, today just sucks and I'm thinking about going to bed and just crying my eyes out because I just don't feel right and just feel so shitty today. It's definately not a good day, and I know my sister will be like WHY DIDn't you check my pockets before you washed?

My mom said it was MY FAULT because I didn't do that and I snapped saying THAT IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY. If you leave something as stupid as GUM in YOUR POCKET -- you should KNOW to take that shit OUT before you wash your clothing.

FUCK OFF. Why is it ALWAYS MY FAULT? My mom ALWAYS always ALWAYS assumes it's MY FAULT. Why God if I don't get this job, then hell it's MY FAULT because blah blah blah. Well if someone breaks in and kills me, then SHIT that's MY FAULT cause I was home at the time.

I'm just so tired of my life right now that I can really see why people pick up and leave. Or want to die because it's like what have I got to live for if I have nothing right now? Seriously, I have nothing right now, I'm just an empty used up shit person who can't find a job, has parents who make fun of her in shitty times and blames her for everything, it just sucks and I just wish sometimes that I wasn't me because this way of life sucks. I want off this ride already.

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pet ramps