I took my first TrimSpa pill today. Just one mind you - in the afternoon.

I read the directions, which say to drink at least 8 oz of water with the pill as you could choke ... which made me very paranoid about my sister finding me dead and my cause of death was a frickin' diet pill.

So I took the one and waited 20 mins and didn't really feel any different. Then I ate a bit for lunch - and then felt strange.

I didn't really feel hungry at all ... but did feel HOT. I know these pills has the themo-getics or whatever in them. So it heats up the body and man my face feels like it's 1,000 degrees! I also was very thirsty today and if I didn't drink water I felt dizzy a bit. I feel a bit more energized as well. Right now my body feels HOT.

I think it's because this pill has citrus in it ... and yes, I'm allergic to it.

Not bad allergic, but I just get flushed ... which I am right now. But this doesn't happen all the time and maybe it's just special with this pill or today or maybe because I had a few kiwi's today and not enough water?

Oh well, tomorrow I'm going to try to take the full doses - 1 pill 20 mins before each meal.

We'll see...and I want to exercise too.

What is good is right now I'm not hungry. What I notice is I EAT when I'm not hungry.

Yes, I saw this as I took the pill, felt full and still ATE.

Anyway ... I feel very scared right now.

Yes scared.

Last night as I was laying in bed and musing about how my bank account has taken another plunge...that finally, things are coming to a head.

Yes, I'm starting to see an end to my bank account. I have 1,250 left. Hence I have no bills except for Visa, that isn't a lot of money to live on indefinately.

I owe, I think $500 on Visa (not sure) ... and figure my bill is going to come in the mail soon. I will only pay the minimum, but still....

I've tappered off in spending and am thinking about putting stuff up on Ebay just to make some mon-ay. I think I might put up my Weight Watchers kit as I do not use it and I figure if I want to use it, I can just do that points formula and look at websites for fast food points.

That'll fetch at least $80 bucks, maybe $100. I also might sell some clothes. Er ... I was laying in bed thinking about this last night.

I also told myself not to OVER-REACT as I sometimes do (a lot) ... and to wait until I HEAR from my interviewer.

I felt tears burning in my eyes to realize that what if I don't get this job?

When everyone is telling me that I'll get it and even my connection is telling me good things ... I've learned all to well that it doesn't really mean anything.

It sucks that this hinges on how well you did on a friggin test. And that if I had not spoken to my connection, I would've went in there cold turkey and fucked up on the test because she "forgot" to tell me about it.

I mean I studied for the test! Looked up my AP style stuff and grammar lessons ... I really tried.

And somehow knowing that all of that could equate to nothing ... no job offer ... nothing. It's kind of sad.

So right now I'm a nervous wreck. A piece of me feels like I got the job (due to everyone telling me I "probably" got it) ... yet another part of me feels like...shit it can't be this easy and you didn't pass and you'll be fucked over yet again in your job search.

Just like that chicago place ... what the FUCK was that!?!?!? "YEAH, we like you! Yeah we want to hire you!"

Then nothing....nothing ..... ignore, "what you interviewed here?"

I guess I have "baggage" and I am "damaged" now from a "bad relationship" interview type. Hmmph

�

pet ramps