I did not sleep well at all last night. I took a mini nap yesterday for about 30 minutes and I guess that topped me off to stay away all fucking night.

I swear my mind runs at sporatic intervals with new thoughts and those 'what if's' thoughts and then self pitty, loathing and all that.

So I watched Fear Factor until 1:30 am - rooting for the sassy brunette because the bitchy blonde kept trying to psyche her out (hate that.)

I turned off the TV to hear my sister snoring, moaning and doing other annoying things in her sleep. Like when someone has something in their nose and you can hear it ... that little click of nose air trying to dislodge the snot in the nose.

Yeah I layed there listening to that and was also hot because the house was humid and I had my sister in fucking FLANNEL next to me.

So I think I got to sleep around 3:30am because I remember looking at the clock.

I really hate not being able to sleep, it's kind of like it's a guarantee for a grumpy day. You kind of float through the day and don't feel like dealing with much.

You can't take a nap or you'll be up again all night.

It's a Catch-22.

Anyway, I emailed that job yesterday and in so many words said "What the fuck are you doing? Did you hire anyone yet?"

They haven't yet replied, but I did email them I think after their work hours yesterday and right now it's still to early to hear anything.

Yet I sat here thinking, what if they don't reply?

I also looked in the paper here in Michigan for apartments just in case I do come back here. I saw them from $325 to $400 ... that would be in my range I'd say. I really hate to pay for living and sleeping, but I guess that's the price of freedom.

I'm hoping that it doesn't come down to that, because I know I'd have to hang with my parents a bit and right now, spending a few days here, I'm ready to go home so I can breathe and not worry about getting yelled at like a kid or my fucking dog barking his head off ALL THE TIME.

Okay, I'll try to be non-grumpy today. I realized that the water here is very very soft. My hair, though I just washed it, turns into a soft pile of greasy mess.

It's nasty. My hair turns dark due to this shitty water, or turns frizzy due to some other reason. I guess I could cope before because I had long hair. Now that it's short, it just greasies up so easily and is so soft that it lays there refusing to do a thing but look darker and white-trashy-ish - I haven't washed my hair in two weeks - look.

Anywho.

I can't wait to get home as my mom just flipped out about "clutter" and the dog is barking again and dad is saying "God-damn it" to his shoe cause it won't go on correctly. Yes, he gets mad, no wait, old people get so mad and upset about the stupidest, who-gives-a-fuck, moments like shoes and clutter.

It's 61 degrees here right now and I feel slightly cold. I don't know why, but I've been WARM since yesterday. I think it was something I ate because I only get this when I eat oranges. I had blueberries and some ORANGE marmalade yesterday, so I don't know if that tore me up. Maybe the combination.

Hmm. Oh well I have to go jump in the shower so my hair turns blonde again for a brief while. Can't wait to have Indiana water, bleached and hard, or medium or whatever.

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pet ramps