Last night was a kick, seriously, like something you see in a movie.

It's 5 ish and Pooks calls to ask if the storm has hit where I'm at yet. I invite him over for homemade pizza and a spa night.

About the storm ... No...I say nothing yet. He said it gets windy, dark and pours. I'm looking outside, and actually GO outside...and it gets dark and darker .... the wind comes up and like Pooky was psychic I'm staring into the gray sky as leaves in shades of black whirl all over like I'm in a huge snow/leaf globe.

It was almost beautiful as I'm standing there peering at the sky and suddenly it begins to pour, so I run in and watch as it pours, thunders, lightings out ... the lights go off and on twice.

Pooks hangs up and I'm rushing around lighting candles, making sure the windows are shut, it's really bad out. The floor is vibrating due to the thunder, I think of going into the basement until it passes.

In another part of da region, my friend Vic is at a concert early - 20 people are there when the storm hits and security rushes them into the bathrooms saying a tornado is spotted. Nothing happens really.

So I begin to make my pizza and am kneading the dough to the sound of pouring rain. The doorbell rings and Pookie is here - I was surprised he came.

So we eat and at 6:15 the electric goes on - it goes out until 3 am.!!!

So me and pookies just putzed around, looking at old photos of my grandparents family, talking and then trying to teach him the violin - trying to play kookaburra, then try to oil a clock together. We're surrounded by candles and some people would think it "romantic" as I'm telling him he's holding the violin wrong, and touching of fingers and arms ... but in fact it was fun in a strange way.

We mused on how people could live like this. Then he took the 4 candles up to my room and he left and invited me to his house in case I was scared. I thanked him and said no - called my parents and read my book via candle light for a bit.

It was surreal. Seriously. I laid there thinking of the book I've been thinking about writing and thought of the beginning and then fell asleep (yes candles were blew out). I woke up at 2:30 laid there listening to a cat fight and something trying to get in my neighbors feeder. Then got paranoid someone broke in ... then suddenly I hear my DVD player turn on loudly, I jump up confused and am blinded by the outside light.

So at 3 a.m. I'm setting all the clocks in the house like a goon. Wide awake, and happy that I don't have to think on getting ice for the refridgerator - and wondering if the food has spoiled?

Oh well.

My sister comes home today and I'm happy because I've been somewhat lonely/bored. I did my Slim in Shit (6) tape today and did it yesterday. It's really a good workout and I sweat like mad and look at myself in the mirror and sometimes wonder how I let myself get like this and why I continue to let myself stay this way when I eat badly or don't feel like exercising.

I chalk it up to hiding in my pudgy body from the things that scare me like actually not succeeding ... not because of how I look, but because of no experience, etc.

I guess some people aren't meant to be ... whatever they think they should be.

Maybe that's why I'm into losing weight, maybe when you stop caring so much is when you finally can do what you really want. Kind of a Chuck Palahniuk type of thinking ala Fight Club - when you lose everything you're free to do anything.

I think I'm coming to that point or maybe I'm growing up again or maybe just maybe I'm a bit bitter.

I do see, however, that I do have guys who like me and that it's not how I look but how I act that makes and breaks these mini relationships. It's almost like ground-hogs day with these mini relationships. I act one way to see the outcome and act another way when I know it works. So my trial and errors make for some ultimate relationship that could be coming.

But maybe I'm not ready to committ and look forward to flowers, dresses, rings and seating charts then on to cribs and doctors, bibs and other life altering incidents/accidents.

But anymore, I will just let the chips fall where they may (as Chuck P would say) - nothing is static, everything is falling apart.

Maybe life is letting things happen and not trying to stop theses things that must happen in life nor try to make something happen that isn't ready to happen?

�

pet ramps