It's Friday already! I feel like this week just skipped by.

Noted that I applied for, I believe 15 jobs this week, more or less.

I'm on another roller coaster, with feeling good when I apply for jobs, yet bad that not one soul has called me this week.

I applied for another job at my ol' college - I believe they think I'm overqualified and will leave ... due to my extensive ... er ... print experience. But ah' what's 2 and 1/2 years? Come on. That's bullshit.

Anyway, I also applied at a college in Chicago for three jobs and the one at a publishing company.

Woe as me, my tired typing fingers emailing and updating and so on.

I found another one to apply for in Tinley Park (suburb of Chicago) for a night person - ya know page layout and er ... copy editing type of thing.

Not crazy about working at NIGHT, but I'll take what I can get.

Regardless, right now I'm not talking to Mr. Boy anymore, thought wasn't it a great beginning? Ended before we even met. I really feel hurt still by all his poking fun at me that I'm unemployed - when I told him I didn't like it.

What the fuck was that? I think it was a subtle warning that I should've heeded sooner. But alas, he's a leo/pig and I'm a gemini/snake - it was in the stars that it wasn't going to last.

Then I had another dude talking to me, one of those guys again who say they are so fucking smart, yet can't spell words like intelligent ... hello asshole. One of those guys who everyone thinks they are just so fucking smart because they read books.

Need I say, his picture...well he's just to large for me. lol I know that's an odd one, I do like my men to be a little on the heavy side, but not "God damn!" heavy. Plus he had no style, I didn't find him cute.

I know I'm superficial.

So toss me back in the sea. Maybe it's meant to be that way because I don't know at this point where I'm going to end up living. I'm applying for a job in Michigan again ... and I will not live with my parents this time.

I'm sorry, but I can't, when I live with them, it's like I'm 16 again and I get questioned about who calls, where I go, etc. It's annoying and they can't seem to understand that. Plus having to explain ALL of my actions, and the nagging...sorry, but NO.

But I'm hoping I'll end up around here, I really don't want to go back to Michigan. My parents said to me yesterday "If you're so bored, why don't you go back to the ship?"

I can't believe they said that. I was like IF I WANTED TO GO BACK, I WOULD NOT HAVE QUIT.

I couldn't believe that. I was speechless and just wanted to cry because I just cannot believe they said that to me.

It's no worse than my dad telling me to get a job and that I'm lazy. He says this as a "joke" and last time I said IT'S NOT FUNNY DAD. He said "it is to me" I said "well that's great that you find humor in my PAIN."

He didn't say anything back and I hope he got the message. He always says shitty things like that to me as "jokes" and when I or my sister goes OFF he looks all hurt. Not everything is a joke.

It makes me not want to talk or see my parents. To controlling and the shit they say and think how I should live my life, it's damaging.

Personally, I just don't need that in my life right now.

I guess this is a crisis time in my life, one of those really low points where you see your saving account dwindling and nothing to put in it except despair.

�

pet ramps