Here is my WHAT THE FUCK moment.

Here is the pre-story: I was talking to Mr. Boy last night and he said that he asked to drive me out to that place I have an interview at yesterday. I didn't hear that - but was like awww. So I called POOKIE who said he'd drive out there with me TODAY and told dearest POOKIE that no, I'd rather go with Mr. BOY because I like Mr. BOY and he originally asked me.

Pookie understood. Pookie was cool about it.

Then. I wait. I told Mr. BOY to call me in the afternoon.

I get up at 9 am, slept nervous, woke up scared and nervous because of meeting Mr. BOY.

So 12:00 rolls around. No call.

1:30 comes and I'm like fuck this I'm leaving, I'm not waiting around for him anymore. As soon as I begin getting dressed, that Mr. BOY calls.

He's talking about "do you still want to drive out there?" Me...yeah. Him "where do you live? Off the highway?" Me - Yeah ... right by the Chicago expressway... Him "well it's totally backed up....(some other words about traffic)"

Me: Pissed OFF.

Me: What the FUCK, why OFFER and have me CALL MY POOKIE and tell him that I'd rather go with YOU when you're sounding like you want to BACK OUT?

Me to Mr. BOY: Well let's forget it because it's 4th of July traffic ....

Him: Yeah you're not going to take that job anyway right?

Me: Silent.

Him: What else are you doing today?

Me: I'm going to (insert local festival here) with either POOKIE OR MY SISTER.

Him: Oh ... I wanted to go.

Me: Well you can go with us.

Him: With your sister...and you?

Me: Says yeah. Says other words. Wants to get off phone, pissed at self for WAITING ALL MORNING FOR HIM TO CALL. Pissed at self for fucking not being able to drive out to that place ... pissed that I FUCKING got jerked around.

The moral of this story: DON'T MAKE PLANS AND THEN BREAK THEM AT THE LAST MINUTE BECAUSE OF TRAFFIC.

I think he got COLD FEET.

I know he'll deny this and throw it back on me, but it's getting to the point I want to say enough bullshit, are we going to meet soon or what? I'm tired of this dancing around.

He wanted me to drive out to where he lives last night at 10:30. I said ha - it's not that I don't trust him, I just A. don't know where the fuck he lives and B. don't really want to be sitting on some guys house whom I don't know personally wise yet.

I admit, I like him, but so far I feel like I need to just say let's be SERIOUS for a moment, are you fucking around with me, or do you want this to work?!!

I feel ODD being the gurl who is pushing for this since it's the guy who normally does.

But I feel he has the cold feet syndrome. You think I have bad body/self image? I think he has a lot of this, a whole lot.

More so than me. He can talk the talk, but I don't think he can walk the walk.

There is more to this story. Maybe that tarot was right, he seems to want a relationship, but then dances around it when it begins to get like this - semi-serious ....

We'll see.

I just feel semi-hurt. I don't feel like it's a blow to me...I just feel like he's afraid.

Plus he is a Leo and a Pig in chinese astrology...I don't think he'd lie to me or hurt me deliberately. I just think...he's ... I don't know...scared?

He wants me to call him later, so I think I will begin asking him questions and being more serious. Our calls are filled with poking fun and that shit, but no, we need some time to be serious.

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pet ramps