It's so strange when the hot weather comes here. One day it's 70 degrees and you're alright, the next it's 90 degrees and so hot you feel like you melt as soon as you set foot out the door.

Anyway. Yesterday was such a long long day. My interview and the like...it felt good to be over with the interview, but with that brings the ... will they call type of thing. It's kind of like a first date, and like me, I usually don't get a second call.

But I feel perhaps my luck is changing or I have changed because I expect them to call. I know they will - I feel it inside.

I also started talking to a guy in Chicago, but er he's thin and me, I don't like thin men. So I'm treating it as ... blah. We'll see.

I've been using Yahoo Personals and tiddled on Match.com just looking. I think I might join Yahoo Personals because at least it's cheaper and there are a few dudes who I would contact on there. Heh.

I feel slightly loser-ish about dating that way. It makes is almost worst because when you meet them, you feel like you don't know them. Yet you know all about them because you've talked to them for a few days/weeks. It's odd. But I guess that is the price to pay for a quick, easy date.

Or a free meal. Hehh hehhe.

No, I'm not like that. But still anymore I have a bit more confidence in myself. But NOT in my appearance. Yes, I still feel the fat girl. My sister barks that I'm not that big, I'm not what I think I am...so. I layed there last night in bed thinking I didn't have to be in this way of thinking if only I had kept to eating right and exercising as soon as I got off the ship.

I think losing perhaps 15-20 lbs would help me greatly with my confidence. But alas, I still have not received my GOD DAMN SLIM 6 program! Argh! I keep waiting for it and ready to do the two day fast (you can have liquid meal replacements during those days) ... I just want to start it going, I miss exercising and all that jazz.

But yesterday, I feel like I must be here in Indiana now. I like it here, like being with my sister, not being pushed, pointed at, made to explain my actions all the time as my parents do to me. I know they don't mean it, but I had that way of living.

Here I can have a guy call me and not have to explain WHO he is, where I met him, etc. Internet dating isn't a passe' term here as well. I've missed this place, just always something going on, cars on the street, trucks, trains, people talking outside ... so much LIFE, so much noise.

OK ... so today I plan on eating healthier. I'm going shopping with my sister for her to find some clothes for her trip to Ireland. So there is exercise walking around.

Ugh. I also miss my long hair. I like this short hair cut ... but feel like I need my pony tail on me or a clip in my hair. Especially now where I don't know how to do my hair ... I blow dry it straight and a moment later it curls up all over again!!!!! >:(

I know people say, "I'd kill for that hair" but ... you know when you take the time to blow dry it straight and it curls up...it's not cool.

So I've been washing it at night before I go to bed ... or in the morning and just let it air dry. Then I run my fingers through it and that's that.

I guess it's an EASY hair do, but I miss my updo's! ;) that girlie look. Oh well, it'll take a long ass time to grow it back out. Man.

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pet ramps