You know that song? One is a lonely number?

That is the theme for this entry.

I'm home in Indiana now. It was a easy trip (Thank God). I carried in all my shit and put half of it away.

Took a shower and felt odd being home but somehow home doesn't feel like home.

I don't know how to explain it. I am happy to be here. But with coming home brings new things to ponder and worry on.

Okay I will be straight forward and explain this one.

My sister and I were talking and she mentioned about our friend (close friend) who was talking about his sexual adventures.

This is no big deal. But we were a trio - this friend and my sister and I.

We all were virgins.

Then my sister left the trio into sex-hood.

And now, just now I found out he's not found sex-hood.

And me.

The last duckling is fucking single and just a SAINT.

Not that I need sex to make a point ... I guess maybe to FIT INTO the now WHORE trio.

Heh.

But not like I'm going to jump in the sack with someone - I know I could do that if I wanted to. A call away.

But, I want it to MEAN something. I want to be in that mood of giving myself to someone.

But that thought scares me. I figured out that men scare me.

Yes it's true.

I knew it when the guy on the boat leaned in for a kiss and I said NO.

He looked so sad, but I felt that kisses are such an easy thing, and maybe a bit powerful.

But to me another thing happend when the cute internship guy put his head on my shoulder and I backed away like he was diseased.

Like "don't touch me, then you'll feel how fat I am!"

Strange I know.

So Now I'm ITCHING for a relationship. Just to show my trio.

HEY LOOK I HAVE SOMEONE TOO. LOOK I have hold a relationship. Look I can be NORMAL TOO.

But we know that isn't true don't we? Me...do something normal? Have a NORMAL relationship, phish! Not Jen!

So we'll see. Won't we!

�

pet ramps