Today was a lovely day. Finally the sun has come out - though they say the rain is returning.

I slept in and finally got up around 11. I spent 1 hour just cleaning the inside of my car out, it was so bad and disgusting.

There was salt in it, leaves and sand. It was dusty and just gross. Now it's back to it's vibrant self - I took a lot of trash out, sorted my cd's and boom my car is ready!

For what, I'm not sure, but by God the interior is SPOTLESS!

Anyway, I also repotted some plants, and did a bit of this and that. Washed clothes, hung my comforter outside ... phew ... and then PACKED.

Yes I started packing. Packing like I'm not coming back here for a while.

I know that's odd, and it feels odd. But I feel like I have to do it. I packed up some jewelry, lots of shoes and one business outfit. All ready to go. Packed up some groceries ... er ... resume stuff for when I send out stuff...er ... lots of stuff.

My parents are like "do you have to go?" And they are getting a bit mushy. And I feel almost scared to leave this safe house, but like the bird that leaves the nest, I have to.

To find happiness begin on the outside highway ...

Mom asks if I'll be afraid of the traffic as I have not driven since January and ... well yes I guess I will be - but only when I get on the 90 - the road that takes you into Indiana, the road that is so heavy with traffic all the time, 3 lane - and takes you straight to Chicago if you stay on it.

Yeah, kinda scary but I'll be okay. After the initial getting on the highway (hello trucks and 80mph cars in the slow lane) ... you get used to it fast.

ER okay ... so my interview is Tuesday and I have mixed feelings. Like I know I'm OVER qualified. But recall the STUPID questions they ask you in interviews there - I applied for a job there before and had a long stupid ass interview.

Like "what would you do if a student flipped out on you?" "Tell me about a stressful incident and how you handled it."

That type of BULL SHIT. And I need a typing test - ar! Me! A TYPING TEST? Hell I once clocked in at 80wpm! But now I stay around 70 ... ish. I haven't really been typing so to speak. It's always hard when you have those tests where you can't back space - because you're so used to backspacing. Oh well they said they needed someone with 35wpm and I know I have more than that. Plus hello I'm not a typesetter there or anything. I guess it's for when you're searching for something or ... I dunno.

Oh well I feel strange because this job is like a catch 22 - it's very low in my career and not helping it out much - but I will be able to get my masters degree.

But to me, what is to be done with a Master's Degree? Seriously? Where do I go with that in my field? I told my parents I guess I could be a college teacher with that. Er ... teach journalism or uh HTML or news design? But hell I'm not that good.

Those who can't, teach. But I'm no teacher.

Oh well, I'll just let life take me where it wants to, this path has to be taking me somewhere.

I'm banking on some other job popping up fast. Like hello, before you make this jump, look here!

But those mother FUCKERS at my old paper PISS ME OFF. Hello hello hello I'm here and I KNOW I'm equally if not better to what you have there NOW. Biased fucks if you ask me. It grates my nerves makes me want to work to get hired there, then when they say "you're hired" I want to say I CHANGED MY FUCKING MIND.

OOh anyway, yeah I'm just a wee bit up in arms this week. I get my hair cut Friday at a high priced salon. Hopefully they won't trim my hair and charge me 100 for it - no I'm going to interrogate this lady as I am PAYING for this myself. And I want something new and easy to deal with.

Er and also I am going to call my violin teacher and see if I can come by to get my violin taped up. I want to pratice at my sisters - to fill the time, to get my mind off things.

My old boss also emailed - said he'd be in the office tomorrow since I missed him last week ... er ... I wonder what he thinks. I said I was 'exploring my options' ... so what does that mean to him?

My life is so strange right now, it's like I have each limb tied to a horse and am waiting for one of them to go galloping off.

Oh well my birthday is coming up ... June 13th. I don't feel excited about it this year. Don't really care to even celebrate it for some reason. It's a low priority.

I just want some clarity.

Oh well I went w/ my parents out to Lake Michigan - I walked in the sand barefoot and my God the water is like ice. I picked up some stones for my sisters garden and finally got home and then poo pooed around feeling yet odd still.

I haven't been sleeping well and I think I just need to sleep good again. Hum.

�

pet ramps