It's still raining here in Michigan. Since I've been here its rained, rained and rained. Oh yeah it's also very cold. I'm definately not used to this weather - coming from 90 degree days.

I was getting used to hot weather.

But now, it's mostly windy and overcast with peeks of sun. We had some storms, blah blah blah... I know who cares.

Anyway I'm going to my sisters next week sometime. She's kind of in extreme moods lately, maybe it's PMS? Yesterday I did on of those should I have or shouldn't have thing.

I found my sister's boyfriend (just moved out after fight, in the dog house) ... well I found his personal on the internet yesterday!

So I laughed at it and sent it to my sister who blew up. I took it as a joke and I'm sure it's an old one and he just never deleted it.

She flipped out and cried and said fuck him, 3 years wasted!

Oh my. I felt really bad and told her to calm down and think about it.... He probably just forgot about the thing, God knows I think I have a few floating on the net somewhere.

Anyway she went shopping yesterday - by herself which is a first - and realized she needed her sissy (yours truly) to help shop/fashion (she has no taste) and girlie stuff.

So I know she needs me to come home and help her out a bit, I guess it's hard when you don't have someone to really talk to.

Me, I've been alone so much (in Michigan and on the shi(t)p that I'm used to it and am almost self-inner-independant.

Sooooo.

Yeah.

I also bought that resume zappper resume distribution service.

It says "give your resume to 1,000 recruiters!" Then I get an email saying it emailed out my resume to "416" recruiters.

I was like, what? What about the 1,000? I emailed them and am awaiting an answer. But hey 416 is better than my meek resume just sitting there on careerbuilder or flipdog or monster.com.

Oh yeah I also am applying AGAIN to that old paper, they could wallpaper the bathrooms with my resumes and clippings. I mean literally.

I know they sit there and when my envelope comes someone waves is around calling out to the newsroom, "Look here's ANOTHER ONE! My God she's relentless!" *Ripping open the envelope* "Look this time she wants in the Advertising department! HA! Leroy here's some more wallpaper for the bathroom!"

Enter Leroy: "Why don't you just give her a job?"

Lady: "Well maybe we should ...."

Yeah, that's probably how it goes, except they want to finish off that bathroom and begin on the break room.

Anyway, I'm going to order the Slim 6 program.

I know another gimmick, another friggin "you can lose!" program.

But it's based on exercise - an hour a day - of tapes. You don't need a step or anything special (You do need exercise bands which I already have) ... and it has a mini start up diet.

Easy peezey it seems. But you know it's not. But I'll try it damn to hell.

Anyway, me ol' roomate from England emailed me and left the shi(t)p ... she's sick with something (so she says.) Poor girl. Was nice to hear from her though! Just like my trainer - the one who just got married. Emailed me from Costa Rica (where he's honeymooning) ... and he told his passports were stolen.

So isn't it lovelerly to hear from these people and their fucked up lives?

Anyway, I feel a bit awkward ... like the no job, impending doom of joblessness or impending going to a job I don't like thing is starting to eat at me.

It's like the langilears (that Steven King movie) ... it's like they are coming, but for now I'm safe in that airport and just noticing the food there has no taste. (You have to see the movie to understand what I mean.)

I guess I'm just waiting for someone or something to happen to spark myself into a define.

I certainly am afraid that someone will point out that airport window and the camera will pane over and those fucking langilears will be eating up the landscape. Fuckers.

Er ...

I'm playing with going into my old job tomorrow. See I have to go mail off my resume (number 1,000) and then I could go stop by my old place of employment.

It feels weriod to think about going in there,ya know? I'm just going to say "Hi, just wanted to stop in and say .. Hi."

I've thought out the scenerio in my mind. Thinking magically they will say "want to come back here?" You know they DID say I could come back whenever I wanted, but I think it was more of a thing where they thought I'd never want to come back. But alas, I'm so desperate I would go back.

But at least with a name change of EDITOR instead of coordinator.

But this makes me nervous and I guess I can just go in and say HI and be nice.

Something like that, maybe pray no one is there and er I can leave.

OKAY IT'S just a nice thing to do, nothing attached to it right?

I just feel strange about it...very ODD (as my roommate would say) about it.

I dunno, it makes me nervous.

Oh well I'll continue down the road and see the days passing and feel like I'm going to pass out from all of these worries choking me. I'll be OK, I know things will pan out even if *shutter* I have to ...

UGH.

Yesterday, I also put up a personal ad on yahoo. I know. What the fuck is wrong with me? I also found some cute guys (what are they doing on there?) in my area? Er.. ya.

Okay, I'm going to just pray that tomorrow someone will call for an interview, even Wednesday, Thursday those are fine too. Friday I'm going to a sale at Marshall Fields and I really want to get a pair of Steve Madden Kitten heeled flip flops. On sale! Whoopie!! And then I'll buy some clearence business clothing for my non-job at nowhere. *sigh*

My next buy is I want a jean skirt from Lane Bryant. I don't know why I'm so into skirts...hum. But only to the knee, or else you look like a fucking walking box.

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pet ramps