*Sorry about the ugly background, I have to do some html work when I get home, can't do it here.*

Thought I would do a mini update as just now I feel like I need to talk to someone and right now I really don't have anyone - unless my roomie is in the cabin. But right now her life is kind of full as she has family problems and I don't think she needs some crazy American girls problems to add to the load.

So anyway, I feel a bit better since I've heard the shocking, bad, news of the job thing. I got in touch with the same paper, with another job there for a designer. I emailed the lady and said, look I'm on this ship until the 15th, but won't be home until the 20th, will you still accept my resume?

So she said YES and that there are a "few designer jobs open" ... I think she said opening up, I don't recall. So that was okay news, but the down side is I feel my portfolio isn't up to snuff - I mean it's good, but to show basic layout, it's not great.

But I'll keep my head up and look forward to rushing to my sisters and crazily sending out my resume .... or maybe I'll wait until I'm home in Michigan ...uh I'll have to see. I think the excitement and NEED for a new job will spur me into super resume/cover letter writer Jen.

I already feel like I should be planning this all out.

But Okay I need to breathe and get past this week. Yes I'm so happy to be going, but no, it's very hard to pack up everything and all this paper work and stupid meetings.

The hand over to my replacement is going better and he's learning very well and we're friends now. We are going to keep in touch after this - and he says he is quitting a few weeks after I leave as he doesn't want to work here - but not to worry, they won't ask me to come back early.

Still - like I said all this fucking paper work to be done and stuff to do is very stressful. I mean security goes through all of your luggage right in front of you. I had to buy another bag because my suitcase was just filled to the gills and it would be to messy. So I bought it nice over the shoulder bag and put the majority of my clothing in it, and in my suitcase has the clothes I'm wearing to Dizzy World and my souvenirs/presents for everyone. It's not jam packed and it'll hopefully be easy for them to dig through.

I just have to buy a lock for my suitcase (for after the search) and either buy or make a luggage tag for the bag I bought. I think I'll just buy a luggage tag... I also need to go shopping in the stores for a few last minute things...and boy the list goes on. It's more stressful leaving than waiting to leave. Does that make sense?

Regardless I'm happy to be going and feel somewhat joyful about the designers job. I can't wait to talk to my parents about it, can't wait to sleep in and spend time with my sister! Can't wait to eat good food and not have to wear this fucking costume anymore. So many good things to come on Saturday.

I just hope I'm not in for another disappointment if I don't get this designers job. It says 2 yrs experience, then says 5 years preferrable. So that feels like ... oh my goose is cooked already. But I shall try and see and I wonder just wonder how many designers in Indiana need jobs? Er... hmmm. Who knows.

I still get this sudden pange of sadness when I think about the what if I don't get this job...and think about coming back. Everyone says don't go back, but the alternative is looking for another job...and God knows how long that will take and me out of any useable experience in the design field? That is unspeakable...the horror of it all! ;)

I don't know, I'm just trying to ease back and trying not to freak and flip out like I normally do when something doesn't go right in my life. But truthfully, I just feel tired. And need a rest before I can truthfully flip and freak out properly. So for now I'm just laying low and I think I'll rewrite my resume and cover letter on the way from Florida to Indiana. Just for fun mind you.

�

pet ramps