Fuck how do I remember all these numbers! Phone numbers, password numbers, zips, area codes, numbers, numbers numbers!!!

I got off the boat today and went shopping. Bought a lovely skirt that is reversable and went looking for a shirt to match this lovely skirt, ended up buying overpriced shirt from Dillard's - a Florida store.

I bought the skirt, that beautiful skirt, at a Macy's store on sale. And also got a business shirt on clearance, which I adore already. I miss shopping and cute clothing and stuff and feeling alive.

But I noticed people are not happy and overly friendly. Perhaps I miss Michigan, or maybe people here are different, maybe I expect to much, maybe I'm the one that is to nice.

But people say they never see with without a smile on or me not there to help (well those who deserve it).

I also noticed that I'm in Florida as I saw a Slim Fast can on the side of the road. In Michigan or Indiana, you see beer cans, here it's slim fast cans for the you-can't-be-to-thin girls here.

My roomie for one, eats slim fast granola bars that smell weriod. I hear her crack one open at 2 am and munch softly. She tells me when she comes back onboard she's going to buy a 6-pack of slim fast cans and drink one for lunch everyday.

Er. Sure, yeah like that's any better, I don't consider liquid a lunch, not to mention thick, chalky tasting ick. I tried slim fast and took 2 sips and poured the stuff out. Bleck.

But today as I tried on the clothing I was buying I realized then and there I had lost weight.

Granted I'm not thin, but I have lost quite a bit, as the skirt I got didn't make me look like I was a fat girl wearing a to small skirt. Oh well, we'll see how this all goes, I also bought some clearance jewelry, I acted more like I didnt' care when I shopped today, I figured fuck em' I'll never see any of you again in my life. So what if I wandered into the skinny section thinking it was the plus size?

I DID however buy a shirt w/o trying it on and fuck me it fits to tight in my abs area, but fits fine on top. Damn it, don't you hate that? I call it a shirt you have to wear w/ a girdie. Damn I hate when I have to do that, but oh well fashion dictates, I listen and follow.

Oh God I miss clothes and pretty things and light fabrics and shoes and all of those things in life!

But alas, I have a month and 4 days or something like that, so close, yet so far.

The security guard said to me today "Ohh only a few more weeks!" I didn't like this, it sounded longer than me saying 2 eastern and 2 western cruises left, that sounds so much better doesn't it, though I know it's all the same.

My parents are leaving next week on the 20th to drive down here and I'm afraid of what Monday holds for me and my fragile mind anymore (read last diary entry).

But we'll see I guess, I'll survive, hell I got my new clothes I can do anything.

Anyway, I should get back to work, I hate when you IM someone and they dont reply then put on their away message. Today no one wants to talk to me! :( I called my parents, my sister, even pookie, everyone is out.

40-year-old left a message on my phone and I deleted it half way through. His voice gives me the willies and I get this scared shock through my body, like a RUN AWAY type of feeling. He's groady, yes groady to me completely, he makes me cringe kinda like how the housekeeper here makes me cringe and when I see him I run and run away and hide.

It's like ew, don't look at me, talk to me, leave me be, you make me cringe! I know that's wrong, but come on. I'm terrible I know, I know.

But I do love feeling like I've lost weight and how my clothes fit. I looked at my clothes for my Florida trip and damn me for buying everything that will be TO hot. Stupid me. I hope there is a cold spell.

Fuck I hope I can even GO as Monday will be very telling, and perhaps they'll wait for me. I dreamed last night I went home and went instantly to that job, and worried about what clothes I'd wear because I'm sure that's how it'll turn out.

Hm. Life is so strange, and things work out strange all the time, I shouldn't be surprised with whatever happens should I?

Oh well, I feel lovely today because I was able to be real again and I had pizza for lunch - and oh my that was great to use real money and equal to everyone and be the guest now, not the servant.

*Sigh* Happy Easter everyone.

�

pet ramps