Well my cold is getting better finally, I'm in the congesting, headache hell, and sneeze section of it now.

I have little coughing attacks and most of all a raspy voice.

Yesterday was one of those days, let me tell you, when you feel like you're in a movie because I had a flashback, a moment were I knew a prior action led to the one that just happend.

You know like when you say something and hope the person forgets it or didn't hear you correctly and then a week later you realize they didn't forget and did hear you.

Yeah. That's what happend to moi. See, about a week ago, I saw this higher up, horse teeth guy who'd been bother me for a sign for his big boss (think captain like).

Me, the scared new girl, lamented about this as I screwed up twice for this big boss and this guy just loved my 'oh-my-Gawd-I'm-gonna-get-thrown-off-the-boat' type of freak out.

So...I got a bit of an hint that perhaps he liked this a bit much, but I didnt' really think upon it.

No, I'm not one of those gals who thinks every man likes her...but here it seems like if you're nice to them, they do like you.

Well, zoom to last week when I saw him in the crew office. He said "oh Jen I meant to stop by and say Hi to you..."

"Why didn't you?" I said mindlessly as I was filling out a paper.

Unaware that this sounded perhaps a bit to bitchy.

Oh I will visit you again he said with those horse teeth.

I stupidly looked up into his eyes and said 'you'd better' in a sultry type of manner.

Oh my. I wasn't paying attention and just la la la trying to hurry up and leave and then I do that?

So...zoom to last night.

There I am at the bar looking at my lovely posters and signs and watching this fellow worker take pictures of all the props for later use for next year.

So I'm standing by the carved fruit and looking at my lovely poster and who is there?

Horse teeth.

So he's like turn around Jen, and I do and the coworker with the camera has this what the fuck look on his face as horse teeth yanks me to him and says "take a picture"

I struggle meekly away and he's like Jen get closer, so the guy snaps the picture and me, I'm sure looks dumbfounded by A. Being pulled to someone's side and B. not being able to get away.

Oh my. After that I skittered away like a mouse.

So yeah, that's me life here on da sea. I still have the two others, but I keep an arms length away, though the one is still touchy feely.

And now everyone here calls me baby or babes.

Er, no.

So anyway, I really hope that these weeks fly now, really, I'm tired all of the sudden and just wish something good would happen where I felt like I was leaving soon. I mean just a job offer or interview would be ideal, but I find I barely have the time to send a resume (email it) than to get on the net and update all my resumes.

That sucks, not to mention I have to pay to be on here, so that takes time AND money, things I don't have right now.

OH well, I keep daydreaming of home and getting my next job. Always moving and climbing, I feel like. But I'm growing tired of this type of lifestyle. I just want to find someplace where I feel like I'm THERE and settle down and just be for at least a while.

It occured to me last night while laying in bed and hearing people walk down the metal stairs and across the hallway ... well I wondered just what am I looking for?

I keep moving and searching for something, and have yet to feel like I've found it. I suppose that is the life of a gemini girl. Looking for the next best thing, that better half.

But I question if there is such a thing.

I guess this is what is called the searching for who you are in your 20's.

I just started looking to late and hope that someday I'll be certain of what I truly want.

For now, I guess I'll keep on looking and job hunt like a mother fucker.

Who knows what will come of it all in the end.

�

pet ramps