OH MY GAWD.

I applied for that Dizzy job on their cruiseline?

They emailed me and want to TALK TO ME ABOUT IT - ALA INTERVIEW.

I started shaking when I read the email, it was like YES, PLEASE CALL ME. YES YES YES!

So strange.

I nearly jumped out of my skin, rolled on the floor screaming in giddiness.

Oh well, then came my crashing reality.

Hello reality.

Damn you.

I kept thinking me living in a boat for 4 mths, the 8 weeks off? Me?!

Yes, this is that gurl who left their college program cause I missed home and hated it.

Now here we go again, but this time it's adulthood, it's a shitty job market, I can't go around skipping through jobs when there are none to be had most of the time.

I can't see myself leaving my job here of 2 yrs, going to that job, hating it and leaving a week later.

No, I can't do that, like ma says, "You have a important decision to make."

My head says YES, DO IT, A WAY OUT. YOUR DREAM.

I'd always dreamed as a kid to work for Dizzy. *Note - Dizzy isn't the name of the company, but for Google search bases, I don't want em' seeing THIS here diary.*

Anyway, I dreamed about working for them, then I did and hated it, now I want to go back?

Will it be different? My heart ached a bit to think about leaving this life I'm in now that I say I hate, yet is comfortable.

Oh my, my violin lessons...oh my what shall I do?

I keep thinking, hell an adventure, I keep thinking it isn't forever, every 4 mths I can come home for 2 mths.

I just keep thinking.

No decisions made cause I dont' even have the interview, just a email saying we'll call you honey, and maybe just maybe we'll invite ya down.

My zinger, my ace in da pocket, my trump card is that I'll be in Florida next week!

I will so gingerly, off handedly, sweetly mention this fact.

See what happens. Must be Jolly Jenn.

Odd, that it seems I've already made up my mind.

OTHER THAN THIS.

I'm so fucking fat. I am trying on clothing for Florida and even with my new industrial size girde my clothes are STILL TIGHT.

I said fuck this, and am getting comfy clothing for this trip, seriously, I'd rather be comfy than sitting there like a stuffed sausage in this fucking girdie.

I will, however, wear my new girde on Christmas Day for the dinner party. Think of me, stuffed in this sausage casing so I look slim instantly.

Oh well, so much to think about.

So very much!!

And ... er ... I have to still get stuff ready for this trip, I'm waiting till the last minute, tomorrow is Thursday and I still have to wash clothes...stop the mail ... go to the bank ... oh my. I am also running out of FOOD ... I have no pop in the house except for horrid vanilla pepsi I got free at the supermarket.

Oh geez, I guess tomorrow I'll be more clear as to what is going to happen with my life...oh my. Just to INTERVIEW IN DIZZY, to walk into their casting area and to INTERVIEW there, even if I don't get the job, that would be so fucking cool.

Oh my. Oh my. So much to think about tonight.

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pet ramps