I know I'm selfish somehow.

I talked to my parents tonight, they said they might really be there until Christmas ... my asshole uncle isn't even going to spend time with my Grandma, it's to the point there is something new wrong with her everday.

Mom says Grandma is spoiled cause she's demanding and expects stuff, she wants them there, yet wants them to leave.

So I'm on the phone trying not to cry but thinking ... sorry, but I do NOT want to be home for Christmas by myself. I don't know if I should tell my boss that I need the week of Christmas off, or go home to be with my sister - or what.

Should I buy a tree tomorrow? I don't know, why the fuck did I buy these ornaments if I can't have a tree this year?

Then mom is like my sister shouldn't be coming up tomorrow and right now I'm battling tears and losing.

Pooks will be here in 10 minutes and I"ve got to pull myself together, but right now it's just very hard to when I just want to cry so hard.... okay breathe cry when you're alone tonight in your room, cry in the tub, cry anywhere but in front of him.

I hate having to act like verything is alright when it's not. I have to go clean up myself I have meanders of tears finding their way down my face.

Fuck.

�

pet ramps