Oh my.

Oh my Gawd

Here is another Jenny story to put in your pocket and laugh, get angry and mull about.

Ya know 40-year-old? Yeah, that dude that I dabble in here and there, nothing serious, no interest?

Yeah, well last night he said he was coming up here today, I said no I'll be at **** all day and don't know when I'll be home. Then my DSL connection died, and that was it, I thought I'd sealed up the seam.

Flash to 11:30 ... I get a call on my cell phone, I don't answer cause it's 40-year-old (aka 40yo), I listen to the message he leaves, "Jen I'm 30 minutes from ***** ... call me when you get this."

I freeze, then my house line rings, I don't answer again.

Yikes, it's him! I stand there and realize he'll be here probably at 12:30. It's like dooms day, and I do not want to see him. So I batten down the hatches, lock the doors, pull the shades, give a "I'm not home" look to my house.

For did I NOT SAY I WOULD BE GONE and didn't know what I'd be back?!! HELLO!!

(I know I stayed home all day, but it was a good excuse.)

So I'm hiding in my own house as she knocks on the door at 12:20. I'm like a rabbit, I'm sneaking around like he's peeking in every window. I sneak between my bedroom and the bathroom and have a "blind" where I can see his truck waiting, and he can't see me.

He calls and says he's waiting. So I figure "who the fuck would wait for more than 15 minutes..."

So I wait.

And wait. I watch Roseanne and a informmercial.

Then 1:30 hits and I call and say ... I thought I said I wouldn't be home until late? He says HOW LATE? I said night time, I lie.

I say "I'm sorry, but I thought last night you knew...."

And I feel bad, yet at the same time mad cause I DID say that and who in the WORLD drives three hours without a DEFINATE OK from the person?! Seriously!?

So we hang up, he calls back and says he left me a CD on my windshield. SO I call pooks, my friend-line and tell him what happens.

He laughs, and says I'm a bitch. Letting him drive 3 hrs. and then hiding in my room until he leaves. I say well first off I didn't want to see him, second off I never said YES COME and third off I told him I didn't know my schedule!!!

Pooks just laughs.

AND I'm all paranoid, looking out the window and waiting to see his creepy truck. If he'd come back he'd know the jig was up, I opened the blinds and took the cd off my car. He made me a cd of songs I've never heard back from the 60's, he said I'd appreciate it.

Well I don't.

I want to say just leave me alone dude, get the fucking net. You should've known last NIGHT when I said NO, he had no right to come here.

I do feel bad about him driving here.

But as pooky, my dear darling pookie said so eloquently and so Gemini like....

What does a 40-year-old want with a 20-something year old?

Thanks Pooks, I was like...okay I'm not talking to him any longer.

Pooks also went on to say he doesn't want his name in my cell phone cause he thinks I have stalkers lol and that they want to kill me and will kill him too! Arr...lol stupid boy.

I guess I'm like pooks, so bad, very bad with relationships. Don't want to hurt others and let them go and get to deep and far. I feel nothing for the 40yo, maybe I had a tinge of "what if I lost my virginity" but it was just a fantasy, not something I want in reality.

So me and pooks drag it out and hurt others and then feel bad...I guess we are that much alike, even though I say we're not....

What's wrong with us? We've got no one to blame for this but yourselves.

Okay I've learned to NOT talk to anymore men on the net, it just doesn't work out...it's bad for my health. Christ I almost had a heart attack running around my house like in that movie with JLO - Enough.

My heart was thumping, I told pooks that I didn't like confrontations ... he said since when? I said I mean fighting ... and he said since when?

So I know I'd be strong enough, but emotions and dealing with them are confusing and just not my thing I suppose, as with pookie, we both would rather leave that aspect out of a lot of things.

I seriously don't know why I'm like this, my adnerline is pumped. I cleaned my bedroom's floor, bathroom, parents room and kitchen floor ... I'm nutty now with confusion on if I should feel bad or mad.

Cause in all seriousness, who in their right mind would drive all this way when you did not have a definate answer? Seriously...me and pooks were like... are ya nuts? Maybe it's an Indiana thing.

All I know is I'm tired of this game, I just want him to go away, leave me be, I'm to young for you.

And the cd he left? Full of songs from way back when, ones I wasn't alive to hear in their first playing. Perhaps that should be the sign that maybe I should stop this now.

I know if someone treated me the way I treat him, I would tell him to fuck off and never talk to me again. Still he rolls with the punches and pooks says ... it's cause he wants some virgin arse.

Maybe pooks is right. I have new respect for my pookie boy.

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