Happy Thanksgiving!

I see this thrown in my face today. It's mocking me.

Yes, I'm alone on Turkey Day. I'm annoyed at happy family people today cause I'm jealous that my only family is my dog that has been sleeping all day.

Yes, my mom is with dad driving to Florida for my sick grandma.

My sister, own sister, is at home attempting to cook (she doesn't cook) a Turkey-ish meal for her boyfriend and perhaps his son too. She signed on to AOL and didn't IM me Happy Thanksgiving.

She hasn't called. No one has called except for my parents at 10 who said "we're in Indianapolis can't talk, don't want to waste minutes bye."

That's my only contacts today, besides a few IM's, emails of well wishers. But I am bitter still.

I go to work at 6 tonight, and am working with dumbass who has a lot of pages to do and a slow ass style. I will bark commands at the boy because I don't want to be there, no not on Thanksgiving, I should be with my family.

Oh wait ... yeah.

Regardless pooks is coming up to walk w/ me in the parade and cut down a Christmas tree, I worry that he'll back out somehow and will be left high and low.

My sister said maybe she can come up and do it. What happend to her, what happend to family get togethers? Is her bogus boyfriend her family now? Somehow that doesn't seem right.

Somehow I feel perhaps, maybe, just maybe I should go off on my own, be on my own and as my boss says "just deal with it."

Still, a phone call should've been on the burner for her, I know the phone works both ways, but it's a bit different this year. I don't think I'm going to answer the phone today. Fuck em' all.

Feel that isolation, cause I've felt it all day.

I guess having PMS doesn't help. Listening to Micheal Feinstein's 'Isn't it Romantic?'

Yeah I feel low today. I hate being alone.

I read 40-year-olds blog and he speaks about how gay marriage is wrong, he's such a bigot, he's boring, he supposed likes me but he's not like the old guys that would hit on me, he's more cold and selfish, he doesn't say the right things, he's a taker.

Then he begins bitching and moaning about his divorce and how his kids hates him. He paints it to be all the wifes fault on how the kid turned out, he says he had nothing to do with it.

I say yes you did, you fucking idiot! You fucked her, had that baby, was a papa until he was 3 years old, then court visits, etc. you play a part in how he is today.

I hate people who blame others for things and not at least put the blame on themselves. He's such a baby. We talk about the same things, it's like man get a fucking life already Jesus H. Christ. GET OVER IT!!!!

Oh well, I cleaned up the house, got it into neat state since we're getting a tree (well that is if pooks come and again my parents said there's a remote possiblity they might be there for xmas...)

Regardless, I moved stuff and put stuff away. Now it's a cold Martha Stewarty room, I put up some Xmas decorations, looks sooo cheerful let me tell you. I shut the vent by the fireplace so the only other vent is by the computer and I turned that off too! lol So it's a bit nippy in here!!

Oh well, it's 2 and I haven't eaten anything except some corn pops and 2 mini chocolate squares. I guess I should go eat.

I just feel so angry, sad, bitter today. I'm really affected/effected, I don't know why, it's like I'm a kid or something. It's times like this, I just think how I don't want to be like this, live like this, dependant like this and wish I was someone else or just didn't have to deal with it at all.

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pet ramps