I've such a headache, I mean it's really bad right now. I was playing a video game and got motion sick ... so wow...!!!

I got called by a headhunter yesterday, and called her back today, she was such a fucking bitch. She made me feel like I was lying, then took me for granted...she was like.."oh you sent your resume to us, or did we contact you?"

Then she says "oh here's your information...are you working now?"

I wanted to say hell-fucking-ooo bitch you have my resume in your hands.

Then she's like, well you have to live near Chicago cause we might call you and say you have to be here in 3 hrs...I was like WHAT? How in the HELL can that be if someone is workin' full time? Yeah right, fuck that, I was like er ... bye.

THANKS FOR WASTING MY TIME.

THANKS FOR GETTING MY HOPES UP YOU SNATCH.

I was so angry, I'm not upset/sad/depressed, just PISSED OFF because this lady was so rude to me, like I was majorly lying.

So I was pissy today cause of this nut lady. I went to TC with my family today and bought a sweater ... and er ... that was it.

I have everything ready for my little pet parade tomorrow. My night editor called and said he's using the nice camera tomorrow for some dumb ass sports thing. I was like...but the pet parade....and he didn't care.

I was SO mad.

I mean why does HE get to have that camera whenever HE wants it? It's not fair. Fuck! SORRY but my camera SUCKS and I wanted that camera for GOOD PICS.

But no. he's a selfish prick and has to snap photos with it. I need to talk to my boss about this because I'm tired of fighting with him, it's not HIS PERSONAL CAMERA!!! I've given it up for him many times but he's never ONCE let me take it.

It sucks.

I'm so pisssed off right now. OKAY I've had my little THREE STRIKES of bad luck.

The Two today...and yesterday at violin practice, my camera wouldn't work right, and I showed people my page I did and they didn't like...say anything GOOD about it...some did, but my own TEACHER

SHE FUCKING didn't say ANYTHING. I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK I WORKED SO GOD DAMN HARD ON THIS TOOK HOURS TO COMPLETEL THE STORY, PICTURES, GRAPHIC, DESIGN AND LAYOUT AND YOU CAN'T EVEN LIE and say it looks GOOD.

I was livid, I felt like crying, I thought it was a beautiful page.

Then NO, alas, they didn't so SHIT.

I'm so worried today cause they couldn't find this graphic I used for my page, so it might as WELL BE TOTALLY FUCKED UP NOW.

Man. And I just realized that the quotes I asked my boss to put in, well he didn't work today, I think...hm...wait maybe he did...shit...I can't remember. FUCK I don't think he did! Damn, so my teacher will be like "I wrote you out my quotes and you didn't put them in?"

UG.

Fuck.

Like grandpa would say The Evil Eye is ON ME.

Thank God I didn't buy this blue suit today, it fit me kinda, but I swear I looked like a DIKE in it. I mean I like to dress feminie and this wasn't female at all. Yuck.

Other than this, I made a swear to myself that Nov. is when I'll head back to the gym. I said fuck this shit, I need exercise to unwind with anymore. I just am tired all the time and lazy, which means I need to be more active. Plus need to de-stress. I get in a lot of bad mood now ... like now with my rage. I just feel so fat and unattractive. What is WORST IS I don't feel my normal feminie self, not my ribbons, bows and lace...perfume and perfect makeup Jen. I feel fat, yucky, Jen who has lost her best girlie features to gobs of FAT. I saw in the mirror today, my angular features GONE.

My cat-like features now clouded in fat. My once clear line jaw line is now LUMPY.

I was beginning to look younger than I really am, now I look OLDER.

I miss that, I mean when my face loses weight, man alive, I look so much better, I really do have that cat look with high cheek bones, slightly slanted eyes and my nose.

now I'm a fucking polar bear.

So I want to get going to I can get this weight off me and get toned up asap. I miss people saying that I've lost weight. I really do, it makes me want to hit Atkins again hard so I lose quickly, but I know I won't stay w/it and will gain it back again cause I really dont like meat.

I should get on WW better...but you know me and these promises by now. Starting over is the name of my game for this excuse queen of denial.

My headache is so bad that it feels like I'm going to faint or fall asleep, it's like a throbbing pain/motion sickness that for a moment I couldn't even read what I was typing, it just didn't make sense. So if my words are misspelled or I sound fucked up that's really why.

Wooo gotta be careful with this motion sickness, I get it very very bad and very easily, it's gotten worse since I was in high school. Barf.

OK I'm going to go sleep this anger off and start again tomorrow, have to be bright and cheery for this long day of pet parade fun, god please make this go alright and that people won't be assholes about it and let me interview and my pics come out okay on my shit camera.

My dad is taking pics he takes a fucking year to snap the pic. I've told him he has to do it quick and now just wait and wait ... like he did at that fucking chili cookoff, me and my coworker were like "take the fucking picture!! JEsus!!"

It's annoying as all hell.

Argh!

ok tomorrow will be better

�

pet ramps