Damn alive, my stomach has been in knots lately.

I pray I'm not getting an ulcer because the past week I've had horrible stomach problems. Plus heart burn.

I thought I was having a heart attack ... heh I know ... but then realized it was heart burn. I got it all the time, especially today I had it nasty style.

Then, last night, I had a piece of carmel my ma made and I got painful stomach cramps, and had to run to the bathroom. Then now, all day I've been having stomach cramps, I was eating dinner with my aunt, uncle, two family friends and my parents and I had to fight the urge and calm myself down because my stomach was hurting so bad, I didn't want to have to be like "move it I gotta get in that bathroom" lol.

I dunno, I think it's the stress lately, but it sucks ass. I have to research a bit about ulcers because my friend had one and I remember he had these symptoms. God forbid if I do have it, it'll be a diet of rice and bland foods for a while. Which I guess is fine, I just want this heart burn to go away already, it sucks.

Anywho.

I feel okay other than that, I lost my bloating, but I say it's cause I've lost a lot of body fluids in the past two days ... heh sorry to be so graphic.

I'm going back to exercise tuesday, next week will be absolute HELL. I think tomorrow I'll ask the boss if I can work and then leave, I have to do 8 pages of the fall home improv. section, then paginate the Monday's A-section, so I gotta go in early anyway. But I'm already drained from this week, my boss is taking this week off so I have to fill in for him, and do all this other shit.

It's not a good time either cause I"m feeling very lazy, like I need a break, a long weekend type deal. I think it's fucking bull shit I have to work nights on Monday. Fuck off. Then next weekend is my weekend to work, so there is no rest for me for a while now.

I keep praying one of the jobs I've applied for last week comes through, what is funny is if they called me and asked for an interview I probably couldn't even remember what I had applied for in the first place.

but I don't hear my phone a ringing, soooo

Dinner tonight was nuts, we had 7 people, which is a lot for here. I washed and put away everything for my ma who was pissing me off cause I kept trying to do things and she kept trying to clear the table when there was no room in the kitchen, I kept saying sit down ma I'll get the rest, I was getting testy.

I talked to everyone and then felt out of touch when everyone talks about teaching, it's like shut the fuck up about teaching you know I'm not a teacher and neither is my MOM so that's rude to assume we'd be interested in hearing you bitch and moan.

I just kept to myself and wished my stomach would stop hurting. Currently it's bloating up right now ... ug I can feel it and I have heart burn once again.

I need to start eating less ... er rich? foods. I had spicy WW food for lunch. So that's also probably kicking my arse.

Pooks is Im'ing me, so I better end this, I'm trying to figure out what needs to get done this week.

Tues. I gotta go to the historical museum and pick out pictures for that fucking calendar. I need to get chris on in typing them out too.

Need to paginate page 1, 2, 4 daily. Work Mon. night. Er...car care is due this week? or next, as is calendars.

Then, I will be FREE for a while, until the Xmas special sections rush.

God I pray I'm out of here, I know I say that a lot, but man one of these jobs I've applied for HAS TO come in for me, damn! I feel so left out, forgotten.

I feel so yucky about this, I should be out of here by now, everyone says that to me, even my old boss ... it's like I'm fucking trying here.....not like I WANT TO STAY. I mean really, I wish I could've gotten that job back home, that was a dream. Now I have to wait for em' to put up that news design job...if they even do that, I should talk to my friend again to see what's going on, he'd tell me hopefully, ...

Note to self IM or email him soon.

Then er ... apply and keep looking and um try to lose weight and try to keep up with violin and rug hooking before you go mad.

er, yeah I guess I could have an ulcer....heh

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pet ramps