I feel like I haven't written in here a while, though I know I just did the other day.

I try to write these at work when I have free time, but that seems funny anymore to think I might have some free time.

Oh well, I work 3 to 11 or so tonight, but I'm leaving in a few so I can get there by 2 because I have to send down my special section. I just hope they didn't mark it up to much, I hate when they do that.

My parents left at 11 to go have lunch w/ this teacher group then they are going to Kmart and picking me up some Tums.

I feel better today, it was nice to sleep in. I woke up with a mild heart burn, but it feels like it's always there. I stupidly just ate a chocolate turtle and already I'm feeling the burn.

I've been doing pretty GOOD regardless, I had toast for breakfast, lunch was squash ... a bowl of it ... and er I think I had two of these delish pumpernickle mini breadsticks (low fat) I just love them. Then I had a mug of milk then that turtle. So far that's like... er 12 pts today.

For dinner I packed rice and more of those breadsticks. I'll drink a lot of water today too, no pop for me anymore.

I have a feeling I'll get stick to my stomach at work, I have that weridness in my stomach already and heartburn is reving up once more. My parents are a bit shocked, but I said well I'm tired of it and want to see if I stop eating foods they say trigger acid reflex, then maybe I can fight it w/o seeing a doctor. I feel OK I'm not dying.

I also woke up with a sore throat, but it went away, I kept thinking I do NOT have time to get sick, not now. Give me Nov. to get sick, but Oct is to busy.

Tomorrow I have to go to that historical museum and pick out 26 photos to go in our calendar. That's a lot of photos to dig through, I don't mind it, but I just hate how it's so jumbled there and it's like finding a needle in a haystack. The photos are from the 1800's or early 1900's, so they stink or are falling apart. It's funny to see what they chose to take pictures of back then, and it's like I wonder if they ever dreamed they would end up in a museum.

Then you realize and wonder if anything you own will end up in a museum or if you'll be remembered and people will tell stories about you.

Oh well, it's so sunny and lovely out, I don't feel like working. I secretly need a vacation because I'm getting very burned out, but like I said, I can't do anything until November.

I have exercise tomorrow, I'm nervous, but I'll go regardless. Maybe that'll help me.

I applied to some more jobs this past weekend. I always feel so certain when I send off my resume, but now I feel as if I'd probably get a better response if I just folded my resume into a paper airplane and threw it out the window.

I must be unhireable, or something, or my resume isn't up to snuff, or they know the jig is up when I list my cell phone number with Michigan area code along with my Indiana address.

I don't know, I wish that job in Merrillville would call, they need two designers, and it's like man alive, I should at least be in the running for that, but alas no calls, nothing. I probably should email him, but sometimes not knowing is better than the cold truth that they will say I don't have enough experience or something ... I just hate when they say I look "promising." It reminds me of my bosses strategy of dealing with workers, he told me that with the bad you have to give good...a compliment of some sort so there is an aspect of postive-ness to it.

I hate that thinking, I don't like that. If it's bad don't sugar coat it nor feed me some line. I've given my boss the "yeah-yeah" before on a couple of compliments that are cloaking the negative. I guess I have my mom in me, or the roughness of NW Indiana in me that shows because I don't like to beat around the bush. Not to mention I get a bit aggressive sometimes, but...that runs in the family. Maybe we're all bullies.

Oh well I should get off to work, I hope it goes smoothly. I'm tired of working with the night editor all he does is bitch and moan. It's so annoying and then he gives me a look when I get all done and want to leave. It's like sorry I work faster than you and live farther than you asshole.

I tell my parents he's not married cause he's so selfish, he doesn't see other peoples ploits. He doesn't realize I have to drive a half hour and just because he doesn't want to be alone there, well sorry I don't like to be at work anymore than I have to.

OH well, hum. My parents keep trying to give me money, and it's like, it's not that I don't appreciate it, but it makes me feel like I'm back in high school.

I say NO I'm fine THANKS. I'm okay, really! I'm okay financially for once, granted my little ebay auctions did great and I had money to spend and transfered some into my checking account, but my credit card isn't maxed out and I have money in my checking that come this Friday will go into my savings. YES I will actually USE my savings account now. I'm going to put away $250. It's not alot, but it's a start isn't it.

I don't foresee any expendatures coming up. My clothing is fine, I just want to lay back now and collect money and think about Christmas presents and saving for whenever I move out of here.

So I AM doing better then before, granted my little sickness isn't all that bad and maybe it's making me eat better in a few ways. Not to mention my appetite has drawn back a few notches. I'll have to weigh myself sometime to see if this is making any difference.

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pet ramps