I nearly forgot to update today.

Crazy me.

I was busy, and er...kept putting it off. I keep procrastinating like MAD.

This mad girl here, has to much to do again. I figured out my special sections schedule, I have something due every week, then three things do one of these weeks, then two things due one of those weeks. It's nuts.

My boss is taking a week off, so I'm left to do his job, then I have to work nights on Monday the 13th.

I keep thinkin' fuck how am I gonna get all this shit done? Seriously? Today I keep juggling between gettin' the TV guide thing done and doing fall colors section, and then paginating page 2.

It was nutty. My other boss is being a bitch to everyone, what's her problem? I swear I left a bit early and she was like "you're leaving already?" I said "well I considered sleeping under my desk but I don't think I will tonight."

I wanted to say, lady you don't know my hours.

Anyway, I don't care, I woke up soo very tired today. I mean it was bad. I kept wishing it was a dream and my radio alarm hadn't gone off, but no. I literally dragged myself out of bed and I didn't really wake up until 10 minutes later.

It's finally fall, we're supposed to get SNOW tomorrow. I can't believe this. I told my parents we're in for a bad winter, I can feel this, last year Oct. wasn't this bad, it was warm until November, and didn't snow until Jan. but this year, it's already beginning. Maybe we'll have a shorter winter then...we can only wish.

But what I really wish now is that one of these fucking places call me! God damn it!!!! Heh I sound like pooks.

My dear pooks, he's so strange, I really miss him sometimes.

My sister came and went and I really do miss her. I'm not sure what happend this time, but I was like gosh golly gee I miss talking to her and being away from the parents.

I stupidly, yeah stupidly, paid $200 to my visa and now I'm broke! fuck. I wasn't really thinkin' then while shopping, I wrote a check for $174. So my check is $560...so you do the math! EEP!

Oh well, at least my visa is gettin' paid off, it can't be that bad. Plus my auctions are ending tomorrow, I stand to make like $50 at least, but now comes the part of packing everything up and shit. Yuck. The post office will think I'm nuts cause I think I have like 10 things I'm mailing out!

Let's hope they all don't pay with paypal or I'm in trouble. FUCK I was just at Kmart today and I should've bought some of those envelopes with the bubble wrap in them. Damn it to hell.

Oh well, I'm almost done with my fall section, I have four pages left. I was seriously LOW on info this time and everyone was up my ASS about it. My own boss was like "why don't you go to a school and take pictures of kids playing in leaves?" I wanted to say, maybe because the leaves aren't exactly falling yet! There isn't even that much on the ground, not enough to play in.

I poo pooed it off and gave him a "are you STUPID" look. He said he's scared of me. I don't know why, my parents say that too...lol I think I jump the gun and bark whenever I'm told something ... I don't mean it as aggressive, or mean, but I start talkin' and it's like a machine gun.

Next Tues. I have to go to Big Rapids to this dumb fucking thing for the company, to see our presses. I really give a RATS ASS about how the paper is made. It makes no fucking difference to me and I think it's gay that I have to go and waste a DAY on this stupid thing. Especially when I have SO MUCH work to be done, I don't have time to fuck around.

Okay enough ventin' I know I go overboard. Anyway, I went to Kmart and bought Halloween candy for my desk. I like to have something sweet to suck on sometimes, so I got some candy and checked the WW pts.

I got Mary Janes (6 pieces for 3.5 pts) York patties (1 pt each) and M&M's (I think are 1 pt each too or 2 pts a small bag?)

I chowed on em' though cause I'm uppity today, stress eating cause I'm worried about these sections coming up, worried about money, worried about my weight, jobs and stuff like that that always seems to cluster around my life. My brain feels like a prune anymore, I'm like a robot, or the circle of life, I dont' think I've ever really changed since I moved here.

All I know is I have a nasty headache, and er...I meant to do something today and now I can't remember what the fuck I wanted to do.

I have to go to this opening at this bank that begins at 4:30 till 6:30. So I'm gonna leave like at 4...ish...maybe 5 to go to it.

My parent went grocery shoppin' and I hope they got everthing I asked for, I'm trying hard to get back on WW, (don't mind the candy though...) and they are doing a high protein type thing (not really Atkins cause they eat bread). I hope they don't do it full fledged cause my mom (bless her soul) gets the worst breath in the WORLD. It's disgusting, that Atkins breath, like you can SMELL it in their bedroom or sometimes in a room. I try to tell her but she gets so uptight. So I start lighting candles and spraying perfume lol..."Just want the house to smell good" I lie.

Anyway, I want to start up exercise next Monday. I get paid Friday (YES) but that goes to my car bill (fuck!) so I'll be livin' po' until Oct. 17. I'm worried I'll get fucking called for a job and have zero funds, so er...That's $200 I'll be left with, then take $70 from that, and then I'll have $130 to play with ... until the 17th.

My ma just called and they are home are askin' when I get home. I think I'll leave at 4:30 or something to go to that thing even though the shark lady just looked at me to see if I was still here and who isn't. I hate people who're in everyones business, if I didn't do my job that would be one thing, but fuck you, if I want to leave an hour early, kiss my ass.

Oh well I'm getting mildly cranky and I feel like I'm forgetting to do something. I hate that feeling.

I wish that job would call me, it's been THREE WEEKS now, next Monday will be FOUR WEEKS!! How can you post a job and then not have the GET GO for it!? Does that make ANY sense whatsoever?? Hello. I guess it's good since those folks who have applied might move on, and then me, who has a snowballs chance in HELL for getting another job anywhere, will have better luck.

Unless that other job calls, the news designer one, their competition, that would be just lovely, just GRAVY as my friend says. I told my parents if I got that job, and the other called, I'd still interview and if it was better, I'd leave and go there. But that's just a dream.

Cause I feel like I may never leave this hell, hell IS on earth ... I swear!

Oh well da boss asked if I was using up my vacation time anytime soon or will just carry it over. I almost said, "well if I have to give my two weeks notice..." heh that would've been a major ... woo fuck up. Can you imagin? I was wishin' to get the hell out of here by NOW cause this is only the start to CRAZY sections, Dec. is absolutely nuts, with sections due all over and no time to do them with.

So I'm hoping, crossing fingers, toes, whatever else I can cross, that I at least get an interview next week!! I'll take second week of Oct. even.

God please?

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pet ramps