It's Saturday, though it feels a lot like Sunday.

We're supposed to be getting some nasty storms for the next few days, which is good news since it's been so dry here. We have a pumpkin vine growning in our compost heap, and it's so wilted even though I watered it yesterday. It already has a few pumpkins! It grew me throwing these tiny pumpkins there last year, so I'm excited!! I love pumpkins for some reason.

Anyway, I also cleaned up my 5 violets and 3 orchids and gardenia and brought them inside.

It was SO gross, there were slugs/snails in the gardenia since it was kept wet. They grossed me out and I didn't even want to touch it, but I replanted it in a very pretty light yellow pot. I also replanted nearly all of my violets, they were spider-webby or spider homes. But they all are happy and look fantastic now that they are in their new pots, watered and fertilized! My orchids are getting ready to bloom, so I'm oddly excited about this aspect! They only bloom once a year.

I'm feeling weriod lately, I haven't been eating/exercising. I am going next week to exercise though. I also didn't want to go to violin class but I did anyway and two people said I play so good. It was nice to hear but I feel like I don't play all that well half the time. I know I've come quite a way since I started...I contacted that orchestra master and he said the one violin teacher isn't taking new students, but there is one in Cadillac he said I could try, but that's like an hour from here!!!

I don't know about that, mom said, why get into that now when you might be leaving?

So this morning I kind of looked at the paper's site where I applied and think I have an interview at, I got excited because it looks like a fun, homey place to work once you get in there and stuff.

They took down that job ad on THURSDAY. Yes THURSDAY, not FRIDAY, which was the last day to apply! YES that is OKAY with me...I'm hoping not alot applied. I really cannot see a lot going for it since to me, it's HIDDEN. I mean if you go on the newspaper site it doesn't have a link to this site there!! So people like me who checked all the time might have an inkling on it.

Er. I hope so cause I really want this job! (God please this time okay?)

Anyway, I day dreamed about losing weight and getting on with college, and yes even dating again when I get home! That's my dream, goal!

My mom and sister said I could get a part time job at Dizzny (where my sister works, sorry I don't want to spell out the name since they have lurkers). But I don't know if I can be that fucking jolly and work part time...you know...no free time? Plus if they pay you shit, what is $80? You know?

I don't know, I'll see how it all goes, I know after May of 2004 I'll be OK money wise (not great..but ok) since I won't have my monthly 360 car payment! A college class is $300 at my college and books I bet are at least $100 to $200. UG! But if I take one...hm. I think I have to take a total of 12 classes, so maybe two classes lol...well depending on my money situation, plus grandma usually gives us $1,000 for Christmas, I think when I get that I'll either pay off my car, or use it entirely for college....

Man, this will suck money wise won't it! hehe I can foresee this already. Damn it.

Oh well, I just hope I find at least a boyfriend, mate, etc. I think I am "lonely" though I know I have family and friends, I think I need that void of "boyfriend" filled...you know? I've never been "serious" with anyone, no lasting relationship to speak of. I will really try that hat on for size, but while I'm doing that, I want to really lose weight once and for all...or at least try, or just get below 250 would be something for me....

Oh well these are just dreams, I'm almost afraid to see how I'll be if I don't get this job, I will be very upset, yes I will...very very. It's like a last resort....But I will keep trying but it will be harder or maybe less are persistent after a blow such as that. I wonder if they (employers) know how much they affect people's lives?

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pet ramps