It rained and stormed like mad last night. I woke up around 3 or 5 a.m. to this crazy storm.

What woke me up was my parents getting the dog out of his pen because he's afraid of storms, and Toto's collar jingling like mad as if saying "THANK YOU THANK YOU!" Then my father telling Toady to calm down, but what the loudest thing was, was the wind.

It began to pour and I got out of bed in the PITCH DARK to the bathroom and just entering the bathroom I felt water being sprayed on me from the open window ... it was kinda creepy cause it was SO loud, the leaves and wind was crazy, the rain ... yikes.

So I somehow got back to bed and woke up at 6:30 again to the sounds of thunder and rain, then slept until 9:00 got up frantically cause I was late for work - I usually get up at 8:30. Got to work at 10.

My period is better, my cramps are still present but no to bad, and it's not so heavy. So it is trying to stop, thank GOD. I do FEEL better today as well.

I didn't have any "accidents" last night and today I haven't had to hide a pad and run to the bathroom (though I will later on for sanitary sake).

Regardless, the cleaning lady here must've PUKED when she emptied the lady's waste bin cause the pads I tossed in there the past few days were HEAVY with blood, it was sickening, and I bet that smelled to HIGH heaven. Sorry to be so graphic, but ew.

I dreamed last night I was engaged to this dream man of mine, perfect man. And was having dinner with Pooks. We got up to leave and ran into 40-year old who was jealous and got in a big fight with me, it was nuts. Then I dreamed he was trying to KILL ME. And that I had my own apartment. It was creepy cause I was hiding in a closet on the phone with 911 and saw him dragging a shot gun around. It was very Lifetime Television-ish movie.

I hope I didn't get killed, cause that's when I woke up. I wish I had that dream man though. le purr.

My dream is a rich-ish man, english accent (ooh) and in some profession like violin or teaching or something artsy.

That of course is my dream, but in reality, I'll probably end up with some business, computery type, accent is Indiana or Chicago-y ... probably not rich, probably normal.

*SIGH* IF EVEN that.

I applied for two more jobs lately, my dad took my resume, etc. to the post office yesterday, it cost $2.09 to send it! Cause I had a lot of clippings, etc in that thing. It's for a news designer in Rockford, Illinoissss. I'd love to do that job there, it's a bigger type city, and about 2 hours from Hammond, Ind. and like an hour from Chicago or something. I figured SHOULD I get that job, I'll have to get my own apartment, and what a mess that'll be right off.

I AM saving my money. I haven't spent ... well nothing with my recent check. Can you imagine that? I DID bid on these stupid glass things I collect, then retracted my bid - and then just bid a low amount on one of em' so I wouldn't get a negative feedback rating!! HEeeh.

I figured, I dont' get paid until Sept. 5 and my car payment, credit card is coming as well as violin and exercise class fees...so that's a low low time for me financial wise.

Not to mention I'm NOT buying any clothes until fall cause I don't really need any! Although, we're going shopping tomorrow in Muskegon, MI at this huge mall, but I doubt I'll find that much, I will hit the Lane Bryant merely because we have ZERO here and it's rare to go there, but often times I don't buy anything there cause it's too expensive or slutty.

But I was emailed today that my WW - at home program has been SHIPPED!! WHOO HOO! So I cannot wait to start that since I feel so fat anymore. I mean bad fat. Plus re-starting exercise, I just can't wait to FEEL GOOD again, no period either, and re-surgance in my violin class, I just can't wait to get back on track!!

Just to lose weight too cause I feel like all of my clothes are tight and anymore I just want to be comfy.

Oh well, the circus is in town today, I got to take a photo of the elephants and saw a camel, kinda weriod to see that around here, although they STINK to high heaven!! WOO wee. They were cute though.

I think I have to go later to take some pics. Aww. Yesterday I could've climbed to the top of the lighthouse, but I said NO - scared of heights....but in reality, I was wearing flip flops and didn't feel like falling down those cast IRON laddars, not to mention I was flowing heavy on my period and it was humid, hot...I said "here's the camera, please take some pics." The guy did.

So tra-la la. I did my thang. I've been getting better at reporting, something happend somewhere along the way where I just happen to listen close to what people are tellin' me and more more information!!!

So since one reporter quit, I'm definately taking up his lack to the MAX. I haven't written this much in a while and personally, I do NOT want a reporters lifestyle...really, I mean running around all day, waiting for calls and all that bull shit, no I prefer my news design, special section stuff!! That's minor craziness ... and not a bang bang bang, get the story done, make that appointment, do this, do that, why haven't they called me?

Naw. I think I found what I certainly do NOT want out of my career. Although, I would gladly be a court reporter if I ever saw that job listing!

Regardless, I had to poo poo this one job cause it's religious based...I mean I did apply, but they want me to fill out this religious form on where I go to church why I love God...if I've been "saved" or something like that, etc.

I am NOT filling anything like that out. Sorry, I know it's a bibly school, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and design?? Really, I don't see why they need to know that. That is biased!!!! Isn't that against the law!??!

Oh well, I said FUCK that, (heh heh) and am not sending it in. SO I opted to apply at Northwestn in Chicago for a job coordinating something or other. And my news design job, so jobs do pop up here and there, although I never hear from em' after they receive my resume. Oh well, kinda like sending my little lambs out to the lions dens and seeing if they return.

I guess it's like gambling, but I think it hurts the forest population with all the paper I waste. Think 100 or more sheets of paper used by moi for jobs. The postage alone probably runs into the $100's!

Okay that's over dramatic, but...

I better get back to work, people are grumpy cause of the people who have left or might be leaving, the paper could have some major problems if we lose anymore, and especially if I go...that's a big loss due to the sections we have coming up. (GOD let me be out of here by Christmas time, that's like a million sections......oh man!)

Ooh I wish I could feel hope certainly and know someone will call me for an interview...man I need that so badly right now, just a dose of hope.

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pet ramps