I started off my day with a nasty scary dream - something that I was in a new house my sister bought, but it was more like a scary/killer movie house.

I was there with pooks and my sister told me that he was in trouble because he used his dad's name to do something - and was caught.

Later on, I was looking under a pool table and there were huge rats that were half-way skinned. They were bloody and their eyes were bloody, the only skin left on them was near their tails, but dragging.

Max killed on of them.

Then the cockroaches were coming....

Then Mom woke me up.

I'm not sure what it all meant, but I woke up feeling strange and trying to remember what all happend.

What was very odd.

Was I dreamt about this HOUSE before. In a different dream, I dreamed about this house. That scares me because I've never been in such a place and God help me should I ever go in such a house that I've dreamed of like this in two separate nightmares.

So, regardless. I went shopping in Traverse City and found where that lodge is that me and sis are going to - it was packed, but beautiful. Like dizzy's Wilder=ness Lodge-ish. (Sorry I don't want any search engines to find this diary!)

It was cool. I bought some clothes (well mom and dad bought them for me - so that doesn't count in my money saving plan).

I got a shirt for SIX DOLLARS on clearence, it was $45. And I also bought a shirt for $14.

And uh..um...got a shirt (22W) and pants (22W) on clearence at Marshall Fields. I need to lose to wear them. I hate that.

Oh well.

I hate those three way mirrors in dressing rooms, they are good and bad. I mean you see a major 3D view of every inch of yourself.

It's like hay my ass really isn't as big as I think it is.

I did note my back looks better, I mean flatter. It was kind of neat. My arms look toned a bit on the top. My hips/butt do look smaller. I sucked it in and was like ...ooh this would be nice.

So...I bought this wonder shirt - 22W and I adore it. It fits, but is tight on my ab area and the only way to wear it is to suck it in - which I can't do all day! lol

I wish I could, but damn I like this shirt a whole lot.

Makes me want to do crunches today.

But I also found out today I have 'exercise' damage. My left foot is very sore - it's from a old old injury when I fell on the top part of my food so long ago. But now the bone or whatever that runs from my big toe - well it hurts on top and bottom on the ball of my foot.

So I've been wearing tennis shoes to help aleve this pain because I've been limping all day long. It really hurts something terrible. So no fancy dancy high heels for me for a while.

Which is fine.

You should see the outfit I'm wearing when I see James Earl Jone(s) - he's going to be up here and I'm doing to a dessert reception and get to ask a question ... my parents are going too - I made my Ma buy an outfit because I didn't want her to wear this hot thing she wanted to wear since it'll be 100 degrees in there! NO A/C! Ack!

So we'll all look like a million bucks regardless that everyone else will be dressed in jeans and shit!

Oh well, better to be overdressed than underdressed in my eyes!

I'm not sure on my shoe choice yet, cause again, I don't want to limp around all night in some high heels.

I did okay in exercise yesterday, but I got so mad at my teacher who was teaching this new thing, he just went on fully knowing I didn't fucking GET IT. I was tearing up I was so very frustrated. I hate not getting things and being the odd person out. I think that's a major pet-peeve of mine. I finally got done w/ the class and was still very upset and angry cause this teacher just went on like I wasn't even there, and I so badly wanted to get it right, but he was doing it to fast and I just couldn't keep up with all his commands ... I'm still frustrated about it, I was ready to say "fuck this" and leave.

I still have PMS by the way.

I'm at work and feeling very very upset here too. It all started with pooks calling saying he got a job at Nipco - human resou. trainee starting at 30K and he starts in Sept.

I know he's lying because A. He just graduated with a ba in comm. and B. he never worked in an internship and c. his only job has been at the ymca watching kids.

I was like no way in hell would they hire in at that amount of money (that company just layed off about 300 people alone recently).

I don't know why he is lying. But I was like you start in September? And I wanted to say, don't lie to me, 30K? Please, maybe 20K baby.

So this upset me.

I know he's lying - he does this a lot like the time he said he was getting $100 an hour or something for putting up wallpaper....yeah right.

But still...it upset me to hear this, I know it's a lie, please keep that in mind BUT

I just feel like shit because I'm trying SO fucking HARD to find a job and here he goes getting this job.

I know he's lying, but...still the fact may be that he didn't even get this job and is just merely applying for it.

BUT I feel like SHIT because I keep trying and trying and trying and the way things are going for me, I wouldn't doubt that someone out of college who has no experience could probably get a job like that.

I know that cannot be true.

So in my reporters way. In my snake ways and in my own curiousity...I found that company's website...and...

emailed Human Resources.

I inquired about a human resources trainnee type job because I "heard about it from a friend" and heard it makes 30K.

Is that bad of me? They probably won't email me back, but still, I keep worrying he'll find out and then get pissed at me...but again this is none of his business and I doubt they would tell him.

Is this wrong? I mean I know he's lying, there's no way a company who just layed off so many workers (this happend about a month ago) would hire on someone like him w/no experience at ALL.

I mean am I going overboard?? I just can't help it, maybe that's the reporter in me, the true reporter. The finder of information, the truth.

Then, Jenny, what will happen once you learn this truth? Who knows, I guess relish the fact. Cry, laugh or something. I will definately tell him (if we talk on this again) ...I will use my reporters sense...saying "are you sure it's 30k when they just laid off all those folks?"

We'll see I guess. I just feel so bad right now about this....

Mom says he's full of shit.

�

pet ramps