It really poured down on us last night and this morning. I mean crazy storms, they are SO bad here. The thunder 'growls' and sounds so very scary. It woke me up and I swear I thought a bear or something was at my window!

It sucked today, as soon as I pulled out of the driveway that fucking light went on in my car saying a door was open, so I opened and shut my door (while driving) and then pulled over and shut the other door..nope...

fucking hatchback was open! Hate when that happens! Think of me in the pouring rain running out to slam that thing --- cursing the whole time.

Well I got into work - late as always (should've began at 9, got to work at 10:30) - and sat down, on the police scanner a lady was asking for the local hospital to come to City Hall (across the street from us) they said someone had fallen on the steps.

These steps are marble, and so pointed and so numerous and so very very hard. I had to go over to the window to see this.

It turned out this person who fell...was my BOSS. We all watched as they sat with him (he was talking and breathing/awake) but looked pale. They got him on a stretcher and took him to the hospital, they say his arm and leg might be broken.

Those stairs are completely scary.

But it was surreal to see him sitting there in pouring rain with men in neon orange jackets mulling around, and a neon orange jacket on his shoulders - but drenched from this cold rain.

Now, about two hours later, it is sunny out and somewhat humid.

Funny how things change. I can't help but feel sorry for my boss, the pain of falling on those stairs must be horrible, his wife called and said that he's not talking (in so much pain) and to not tell his family should they call - and even our manager who's on vacation this week.

What's this mean to me? This means I have to paginate three pages tonight, this means for the next week I have to fill in as this 'head paginator,' or 'page one paginator' until he's back - which I don't think he will be the rest of this week.

This means ... my schedule is going to be fucked up, I have exercise at 5:15 and I seriously DOUBT that I will be done by then, so I'm planning on doing there and then coming back here to finish up.

I'll have to do that all this week! Fuck!

Friday, I have another rug hooking meeting, but I have that day off, if he's not back by then, I will come after being there a bit and work...God this sucks!

I feel my work just piling on me...but I will survive this, because I'm going to exercise this week like in the olden days. Monday through Wednesday, I am going to go work out, it sucks asshole that I have to come back to work - I HATE that, but if I must, then I must. I will do that because I want to lose weight and nothing will keep me from doing that.

So anyway, I have another headache and I think I had ketones breath today - which is good Atkins wise, but to me, I hate that smell - I don't know if I'm already in that fat burning stage - maybe that would explain these headaches...?

Regardless - I feel better today about myself. I'm wearing a size 22 in Jones New York - but their sizes run big. They are snug nevertheless.

Also- that skirt I bid on - on ebay was taken off, the girl said she spilled bleach on it!

Liar.

I wanted to say "I change my mind too alot" but didn't - because why would you wash that skirt when it's new with tags?

She just wanted to keep it, but that is fine, it's a cool skirt and I would want to keep it too - plus I was weary about the whole size 14 thing, I just cannot imagine myself in that size.

So I'll stick with the two other auctions for xl's - at least I know that is do-able for me! lol

Watch me get into a 14 one day and be like, damn I never thought I'd be there!

So my ultimate goal is a size 14/16 - I'll take a size 16, but 14 wow...that would be very nice to get into. I'll take a size 18 even.

Just out of the 20's.

And me, I want to be out of the 200's ... even if I weigh 199!

but see me with 75 pounds peeled away, I just have to wonder how I'd look....

According to Atkins, I could lose 70 lbs in 7 months. But I just want to see what happens after 3 months. It's funny someone was amazed at me because at my heighest weight - 315 - to now I've lost 45 lbs. That's a feat in itself - and I kept that weight off too. I think it's all due to exercise, I never exercised before and then I started that and weight watchers.

Then I said "fuck walking" and began these exercise classes.

Now I love these classes, talk about instant exercise, takes the guess work out. I really enjoy them, though I dread going, afterwards I feel good because I know I kicked ass.

*Sigh*

Oh well I'm going to apply for that job in New York City, granted I don't think I have a chance in hell, but I will try and email my cover letter and resume tonight and see what happens.

They want 2 to 4 years experience ... yet - yes yet - they said they want someone with at least an internship.

That doesn't really make sense. But it's for a reporter/researcher - things that I can do. I love research and it says the writing aspects will come in time - since it's for dizzy brand magazines. That'd be a cool job in itself, but moving is so scary to me, even there - especially there would be so fucked up!!!!

My mom says NY is about twice of Chicago! YIKES What would suck is finding an apartment, really, I don't know what I'd do.

Which is why they will probably laugh at my resume and say, well this girl "lives" in Indiana! Ha imagine her here.

I'm guessing I'd get real thin, real fast from walking all over and then being to poor to buy food cause I bet apartments aren't cheap not to mention the pay ....

*Sigh* Oh job fairy where are you?

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