I feel like my boss whenever I say "wellll" cause he draws it out ... 'welllllllllll Jennn'

So wellllll

I had a short/fast day. I didn't do all that much, barely even felt alive today, just kinda floated throughout the day feeling like I should be at work, as I've had to work the past two Fridays, and well today I did kinda sorta had to work by taking photos.

So, my head really hurts and I'm grumpy too. I feel so ... I don't know, bored, empty, feeling like life is just working and worrying.

I was called this morning by a head hunter in Indianapolis.

So I wondered could I move there? That's so far away.

I kept thinking about my recent 'bounced' check.

It was something like ... wow ... I could be on my own ENTIRELY. Like no family for 3 hrs, like no Ma and Pop to pay for my gas or give me a $20 dollar bill - just because I bought them a $2 jug of cream.

Yeah, on my own.

Like the Les Mis song ... on my ownnnn something something something...

So I dunno.

I do need to get on w/ my life as everyone around me has. I realize once there I can begin anew, though I will HATE it, I know I will at first. But then I will find someone and CLING to them.

Yes cling.

I will be happy friendly Jen to find someone to become like family so I won't feel so alone!

I know that sounds bad, I think it's very high time I look for a 'mate' not neccessarily for marriage.

But for ... I don't know. Experience, friendship, love. Just someone to care for me that is closer than 3 hrs away. Someone I can go shopping with, see movies with, someone I can just be with.

I know that's asking a lot, and ...

I don't know.

I shouldn't talk about these things when I don't know.

I just want to get on with my life and have a course where I won't be ALONE, as my parents have each other, my sister has her boyfriend/ala' going to marry probably...then there's Jenny who has...no one except a gay friend and a love affair with FOOD and trying to lose weight.

Maybe Jennifer is to selfish for things like that.

So...

I did bad on my diet - and wonder if that's why I feel like crud - headache like MAD and feeling very dizzy....ow.

OH WELL - I got paid today and my lovely bank just charged me $25 for my STUPIDITY of bouncing my check, gloaters, so I'm NOT spending ANY money.

Yes, it's true.

I haven't bid ANY on ebay for about two weeks now...or if I do bit it's something from avon (okay so what I like avon eyeshadow and perfume?) but that's kinda rare since I don't need anymore make up.

I am CLOTHES out - have to many and have quit buying them until I think fall.

So...I've nothing left to bid on, I've been doing my rug hooking and doing my violin stuff, so hopefully I'll be able to save save save now as I should've been doing for a while now. I just want to save at LEAST $1,000 in case I do have to move, I'll have rent - then maybe something for, I don't know HOUSE WARES!

Okay stop writing Jen - gotta go to bed, feel like my head is a cracked piece of concrete...ouch.

�

pet ramps