Well it's another lovely day trying to find out why my older entries are screwing up - seems if I go in and act like I'm "editing" them, then they come out alright. (Note they just were fixed, disregard my above bitching!)

But just pile this other problem on my recent week that entails about a million new problems.

Usually I don't have this many mistakes problems, but the past week has been something bad happening everyday.

When I say, 'what else can go wrong?' it does.

So I'm awaiting the current problems I have now to become bigger and more annoying by the end of the day.

I got the special section I did today and saw the cover had an error (a headline didn't come out in color, but in black and white).

This fucked up the entire cover, everyone really doesn't notice it, but I do because I know how it's supposed to look.

Then I see we have the papers logo on there, when it shouldn't.

Then we see.

Inside problems.

Then we see in a different paper, more mistakes.

I was sitting here saying, "I need a major vacation."

I think I really do since I've been making so many mistakes it's not even funny, I don't know why if I've been very careless or tired ... or all of the above?

So I'm thinking about seriously taking tomorrow off ... my boss said I could cause I'm working this weekend.

But I have to come up anyway for my violin lessons, which again I'm beginning to dread because of my recent bad playing habits.

I did skip last week, so I'll go definately! I've been playing a bit better too, so maybe I'll be okay this time.

I am going to take a week off in August since I'll have days comeing to me, and I have 7 days of vacation left anyway to use up.

I keep wanting to get a new job now, I sent out a resume to this one position, although I should NOT have given my Indiana phone number because god knows if they call and the line is busy due to my sister being on the net. I did give my cell number...but still I don't like this, as I usually just give out my cell number since I always answer that.

I talked to the other news editor today and he was trying to calm me down a bit because I was so fed up with all my mistakes.

He said you know it's not really our faults because they rush rush rush us, and just want it to get done, then it gets printed and they get mad because it's not perfect.

I was like, well that's right, but at the same time they blame us and make us to feel like complete shit and stupid because of these mistakes.

He agreed, but said to hang in there, and not give up ... I told him I just need to go on a vacation - and he said 'yeah permentatly' I said 'yeah I wish.' And he was like 'No nonooo'

At least someone here knows my worth.

Anyway, I keep waiting to leave here and for a moment thought about how I'd clean off my desk and my last day.

A nice day dream of sorts.

Still I feel a bit good about the recent positions I applied for, though I haven't heard a peep - and wonder if maybe I should've sent in something instead of emailing it.

In my experience, it seems when you send in your resume, you should expect to hear from them in the following days, or else forget it.

So I don't think these jobs have me on their 'to call' list yet.

It just feels like I'm in jail, serving my time and getting these interviews is like 'parole' and then I'm denied 'parole.'

But I've only gotten one 'hearing' so far, with two nibbles that I said NO to because they didn't pay enough and treated me like I didn't know what I was doing.

Sorry, but I'm not going back into that.

I actually do know a hell of a lot about page design, and journalism type things.

And I'm definately not just a 'recent graduate' anymore, I'm moving into almost 2 years experience, which spells out 'mid-career' in most jobs.

Two years, is what they want anymore, but watch when I get those two years they will want three years...that's how my luck is anymore.

I just wish to get out of here, anymore it's not really because I live here w/ my parents and have no social life because I work TO much and live with my over protective, babying parents....but it's working my ass off for peanuts and then to be treated like shit on a daily basis by so many people.

No.

I just want out, a job I can design or edit or something, something where I can get out of this small town BS.

That's what I really want.

The job I'm trying for now - the assistant art director - sounds like what I want, something to help plan what goes on the pages, colors, design, etc. I've always been artistic, and this is exactly what I want - not this working a million jobs and then treated like shit when I screw up - like I mean to screw up, like I like to be yelled at and embarassed because they tell everyone of your mistakes.

No, I want professionalism.

Anyway, I also want to live on my own.

And have a personal, social life instead of working erratic hours, working overtime and never paid for that, and always on call.

They call me the solution to the problems that happen here. The 'problem solver.'

And I just feel anymore.

Like I am the problem here.

I ate good w/ Atkins last night and today I brought my lunch that is Atkins friendly.

I just made a complete ASS of myself just now at work - two co-workers were talking about going to lunch, they normally ask me but I always so NO.

So the one says "Jen.." I say 'no thank you'

and she says 'my story won't be in...till blah blah'

I feel like a fool

I thought she was going to say, "want to go w/ us?"

Uggg.

Oh well.

I really don't see how people want to go spend time with other co-workers when all I want to do is get away from here.

I mean granted I could see if they were my age/friendly/nice.

But I don't particularly want to spend time here with anyone!

�

pet ramps